*strolls to podium, cocks head to the side à là Obama style, looks at crowd, taps mic*
You know how you ask people how they are doing and their automated impulsive answer is “fine, thank you,” even if they had just been hit by a rusted, rickety Molue? Yeah..I honestly do not know why I just wrote that ‘cos it has nothing to do with why I’m tapping at these keys. It was just a thought that passed by my brain and so…ah. Whatever! I digress…
Telling you it’s the end of the year is like telling you what your name is. Except you have a chronic and severe case of amnesia, That should be as obvious as the fact that we do not have a president at Aso Rock but a resident. However, I digress…
The year 2011 is surely at its end and people everywhere are looking forward to a better 2012. I’m not one of them. Hold up, don’t get me wrong. I mean I’m not in a hurry to start looking to a new day when this one isn’t done yet. I believe it’s the language of the Lazy when they say “make 2012 come jare, this year don tire me.” What would be done differently to make the New Year better or different? I think some people just think “better” is associated with a New Year. Again, I’m not one of them. Still, I digress…
Now to the business of the day: Looking through the year, there’s so much that has happened, I really do not know where to start to ensure that I do not bore the hell out of your already seeming boring existence. Truth is, you opened this page ‘cos you were bored and you wanted to read something interesting. See your life? This is my review of the year past, well it’s not really a review ‘cos I can’t really be bothered to start thinking back that far so I’m just gonna make it a Thankful post.
I learnt early in life to be thankful in all things. The bible also re-iterates this fact. This is a shoutOut to all who made 2011 the bomb that it was (pun not intended)
This year was different as it was the first time I was away from family at the turn of the New Year, it was also the first time I didn’t go for a crossover service and the first time I made no New Year plans or resolutions. I would normally write down things I desired to achieve at certain points of the year but I did nothing of that sort this time, matter of fact, I entered the year with just one plan: Having no plans.
And so we got underway, the celebrations were over and it was back to the hassles of making it daily and surviving in this entity called Nigeria. For bachelors like us, this is no mean feat. Staying all by yourself without much knowledge in culinary affairs could be quite disastrous and is mostly responsible for the fact that I haven’t attained my desired Tyson Gardner body structure (but all in due time sha). Thus a high point of my year worthy of recognition is none other than…
…for being a life saver; my most constant and frequent stomach resident in the year. When others proved too expensive or unavailable, Indomie stood the test of time and remained faithful. Manifesting in different forms (hot, cold, biscuit, pepper soup) Indomie, you made my year. Looking forward to the new year with you (but don’t be too present)
2011 was also the year I became a better writer (if I may say so myself) for many who don’t know, I am not as good a writer as you think. Heck! You should read my early posts on my former blog. I cringe at the things I wrote there. I stumbled into blogging as a getaway place after my heart was broken in 2010. Facebook wasn’t safe ‘cos everyone there knew me and would stupidly ‘like’ any status updates I put up (even if it was “My heart is shattered”) Twitter was boring and I didn’t have a hang of it yet…You remember how it took you 5 months to start getting a hang of twitter? Ok I digress…
In this year, I discovered I could easily express the thoughts in my head through blogging without bothering about spelling, grammatical correctness and stuff. I just said stuff as it came. It was an eureka moment for me! I must at this point appreciate Laide @exschoolnerd and Sheriff @sheriphskills as these guys formed the backbone of how my early posts were structured. I’ll just read through theirs and inspiration would come. I even adopted sheriff’s art of putting disclaimers at the end of my posts.haha! Look at me now. Sheriff is now my boy, hahaha!!! Can’t forget @adahna too, she used to write well o until boys started pressing her breasts and she got dicstracted (pronounce as spelt, thank you)
I found an outlet in writing and quickly discovered my niche was humour. Don’t get me wrong, I do not consider myself funny but some seem to think I am. It became more evident when I was nominated for and won the award for “Most Humorous blog of the year 2011” at the Nigerian Blog Awards. <— See as I made that look like a red carpet event and shii? Lol..Anyway, I won and I ain’t even gonna front, Twas a highlight of my year and it felt good.
And then I closed the blog…
But a lot happened before that…
My review of 2011 can never be complete without the tales of my love life. Infact, this was why I couldn’t volunteer to take part in the 30day challenge on 19th street ‘cos my year without love is like Mr Ibu without stupidity (they go hand in hand)
So yeah, lots of stories have made the rounds about what really transpired or went down in the whole “Ugwu scandal” and I’m not going to bore you with details or stuff. The truth is, I did make some mistakes and I’m not ashamed to admit that. If I had most of the information I have right now, I definitely would have done things differently.
Allow me say this as a word of advice to whoever cares to take it: “What goes around comes back around.” Yeah..ah well, When things happen to me, I choose not to regret rather I seek out the lessons to be learnt and try to etch them deep into the fibre of my being. I must say that I learnt some hard lessons sha, I might as well share some with you:
1. Like I said earlier, keep your private life private. Avoid the urge to splash it in the faces of people. This temptation is great in the early days of a relationship when the thing is shacking you, however, when/if shit hits the fan be prepared for the heat that’s gonna come your way.
2. It’s also safe to avoid the whole DP/avatar advertisement of you and your new bf/gf cos who knows tomorrow? Nothing is permanent, except change *hint hint*
3. Old habits don’t necessarily die hard. History tells you a lot about the future.
4. Maturity is not by age neither is age a function of maturity (this just sounded cool, dunno what it means *shrug)
5. Fear people with English names. They have something they are hiding.
6. Karma is a rabid female dog, just like most of your partner’s friends. They all wanna and will bite.
7. See the signs you punk ass! See the mutha fucken signs. Youp Youp Youp Youp!!
8. Ugwu helps you trend worldwide. *pops collar*
So yeah, that relationship ended and life continued. Allow me say here that I’ve met my best friends presently via this Social network so I don’t agree with those who think genuine friendships cannot be fostered from twitter. That’s BULLSHEET! I have to mention names so you’ll know it’s real. These guys; Tokunbo @olatoxic, Victor @FreshPrinzVick, Femi @MallamSawyerr, Femi @Bule_jr, Wale @thetoolsman, Kola @Qurr, Dayo @MrOmidiran, Bankole @xoAfro, Terdoo @Terdoh, Wole @_thinkTank_ have become my ever reliable brothers. Asides the fact that we have writing as a common link, they have proven to be friends in every sense of the word.
My ladies Dania @Ms_Dania, Esse @TheFakeEsse, Coco @CeceNoStockings, Chichi @feline_eyes, Chinelo @Reine_la_glace, Deola @d3ola, bolouere @boluxxx, Ra @rhaihanah, Isioma, Lauryn, Busayo, Joke, Aidee Y’all made my 2011 rock. Relationships make the world go round. I must appreciate Nkey who linked me with Daily Times after reading my blog and got me a writing gig with them.
(PS: if I didn’t mention your name, be sure to write a comment about it. Thanks.)
Where was I? Oh yes! Many ask why I closed the last blog and opened another.
In the midst of my heartbreak (boo hoo sob sob 😥 ), nothing seemed to matter anymore, mehn shit got real like I couldn’t even piece my thots together. I also got tired of the expectations placed on me. People just wanted to come to “My Scroll, You Scroll’ to read funny stuff and at the time nothing in life was funny to me. The tag of having the funniest blog around also increased the weight so I decided to just throw in the towel. I thought I was fine but then, the things you love have a way of nudging at you. As the days passed, I felt I was doing myself a dis-service by not writing so I talked to my friends and decided to get back in the ‘game’. I felt like a new me was born *blow trumpet here* I could take on the world *blow more trumpets* I needed a new me, so I ditched the blog and ditched @kevinWithAnL too. And ladies, Gentlemen, Transvestites and bots, SIRKASTIQ was born *drum roll* I made some changes on blog content and writing style, trying as much as I could to keep Twitter off my new blog. (Let’s just say maturity set in. 😀 )
While we draw the curtains on the year, I won’t end this without saying here without any shame or whatever, that it has been God all the way. Even the things I hoped for which I didn’t get, the pain and hurt I felt at some points of the year, the days of being broker than stock fish (gerrit?), for everything and for the fact that I am still here, Lord I just want to say thank you.
I must also appreciate all of you guys who have become a driving force, a source of encouragement, an audience here at TSC. Thank you for being here. Thank you for allowing me a place on your phone or laptop screens. Thanks for enduring my crap on Twitter, you guys rock on so many levels.
Happy New Year from The Sirkastiq Center (TSC)
Here’s to a 2012 that brings us closer or to the realization of our goals, While we expect better, we can’t be ignorant of things like Boko Haram, GEJ, DPJ, Power supply, Subsidy *sigh*™ Lets put all these in prayer as we go through our year. And may God who is faithful and merciful grant us and ours a 2012 worth remembering for good reasons and not because it may be the end of the world…shit. i digress…