The iPad

The post you are about to read is completely fictional. Any semblance to real life characters and/or situations is purely coincidental and by mistake. The owners of this blog will like to state that they have the legal backing of the over 50 just graduated students of the NLS association of Twitter and so consideration should be considered before any legal action is considered. Having said that, Welcome to OuterViews. *Camera zooms in to Host, Newsroom style* In 5, 4, 3… “Welcome to Outerviews, Indeed it has been a while. This is largely because we were restructuring and needed to … Continue reading The iPad

OuterViews VI

I wanted to write an intro here but I couldn’t think of anything funny enough so I’m just gonna skip the intro and allow y’all read the post. By @JussBasco Welcome to the TSC studios once again, it’s a lovely day but for some “unknown” reason(s) the atmosphere in here seems to be down caste. I am Basco; your host for today and I’m glad to finally get a chance to work with humans; let’s hope this goes well. Anyways without wasting money(what y’all refer to as time)let’s invite our guest to the stage *round of applause*. *spotlight aims way … Continue reading OuterViews VI

OuterViews V

Hello, welcome to Outerviews today. It is I, the beautiful, delectable, amazing –  *Saka cuts in*, “hey, this is not your show!”  OK, whatever! *whispers* “Saka likes me.”  Anyway, it is I, @TheFakeesse, Ifunanya of #EsseBoobs fame. (Yes, this is shameless self promotion, but who cares?) Anyway, I wil be your host today, and on the show, we have amazing multi-talented Nollywood star, businezz (she made me spell it this way) tycoon and all round diva.. I give you, Tonto Dikeh!!!!! *applause from mainly Africa Magic filled Audience* Please note, due to the nature of this outerview, my default facial … Continue reading OuterViews V

DEVelaTION I

IMPORTANT INFORMATION Dear reader/viewer/whoever you are, due to the fiery nature of this Outerview, we shall not be posting any pictures. This is to keep the physical identity of our guest completely secret. This is also because he/it/she is known to take up various forms as was the case during this meeting. MORE IMPORTANT INFORMATION This outerview was carried out in temperatures reaching 50 degrees Celsius somewhere near Ladipo market, Oshodi. Let’s just say we needed something close to our guests natural habitat and a perfect setting where he likes to reside. VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION This post is not for … Continue reading DEVelaTION I

OuterViews IV

*In serious, stern face* The Outerview you are about to read is one laced with subtle hints of brilliance, bravery and depth. Our desire to bring you the inside scoop of happenings all around us sometimes drives us to places that even Angels and/or demons fear to tread. Seeing as I’m none of the above (I’m a ‘scent’), I decided to send in a daring correspondent, a patient of chronic psychosis, a morphed chinese fish..A Sushey. * * * It was with a great sense of pleasure and humility that I accepted to take part in this endeavour to educate … Continue reading OuterViews IV

OuterViews III

*walks into recording studio furiously having upper and lower teeth conversations with the unlucky piece of what was once a ram* Keeps chewing irritatingly…attempts to talk with mouth full (no luck)* signals producer to ‘hold on’*…*licks fingers, all five of them, then wipes mouth with back of palm* Eid Mubarak my brothers and sisters..*looks at other piece of meat in hand* You know what, @xoAFRO will just host you guys today. I can’t. *kisses meat* NB: anywhere you see #LAUGH, kindly insert the fake sitcom laughter so that our audience would think that the show is actually funny. Thank you! … Continue reading OuterViews III

OuterViews II

Good day Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the first sequel of the Outerviews. I am Terdoh BenFranklin, standing in for Sirkastiq. Saka stepped on many toes last week, causing the Prof to dabaru his career, so he couldn’t make it today. We are currently saving money to buy cardboard so we can tender his problem for a solution to be proferred. Nonetheless, the show must go on. So today, we have in the house, the one and only Col. Muammar al-Quaddafi. *face pops up on skype screen* *crowd gasps* Quaddafi: Who are all these people? I thought this was … Continue reading OuterViews II