Beautiful Girls Are Ugly

Beautiful Girls are Ugly.

It’s a stretched oxymoron alright, but it’s indubitably the truth.

Just hear me out here.

“Inner beauty matters most” is the go-to quote for those of us who didn’t win the facial beauty lottery. But it goes beyond that. It’s a universally accepted fact. I guarantee you it wasn’t just a phrase coined by the president of the UPU (Ugly People Union, and yes, that’s a thing) to make its members feel good.

Beauty comes in different shapes and fashions (excuse the pun) and when it comes down to it, of what importance is outer beauty? Couple decades, a couple children pushed out, a little depression and voila! Beauty gone like a runs girl gone swimming. I think the only job of beauty is to lure every interested person into the arena of inner beauty.

Listen closely while I spit some depth.

Some inner depth…

I get tired of beautiful girls after making a ‘home run’ on them and realising that they have nothing to offer asides sex. Their lack of inner beauty makes them ugly (Now you understand the title, don’t you?) and the beautiful ones are still yet to be born.

Okay, that’s a stretch, but you get where I’m coming from. And if you don’t, let me explain…

A guy may try to avoid a girl he thinks is ugly the same way I would avoid a plate of beans without plantain, but his perception might be high jacked if he mistakenly hangs out with her frequently. (This is why they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. This makes anyone who thinks you’re ugly the wrong beholder. And you may thank me for this nugget of wisdom later.)

Something about this ‘ugly’ female might capture him. May be her attitude, may be her charm, may be her wit, may be her sense of humour, may be that her IQ is higher than Snoop Dogg, may be how pretty she looks when he’s drunk, but something about her will capture him and he’ll eventually end up preferring her to that “hot chick”.

Don’t worry; I’ll get to the point.

Notice how the play boys run through loads of centrefold, model type chicks and then end up with the woman that are not half as fine as the chicks he smashed in his rookie days? Point made…

“Biologically, we follow our strongest suit.”

A man will definitely (try to) have sex with a woman that attracts him the most, and will definitely wife the woman that complements him the most. In some rare cases, they’re the same woman (lucky bastard) but usually, these two individuals are very different people.

A girl that can recognize her beauty prowess knows it’s a double plus considering she already has a bomb vagina that guys would love to kill for. If the average looking girl thinks she’s entitled to some good stuff just because she has a third armpit, the beautiful girl feels she has every right to get the best form of entertainment guys can provide.

Beautiful girls invest more on cosmetics than any other thing that can actually better their life, they believe their face can make up for any blunder; their brain is as void as the world in the beginning.

You go on a date with one of these chicks and the conversation is as one sided as a sermon. They are the type of girls that would make a guy feel like a C.E.O  that has placed a vacancy notice on news papers on the first date because the conversation would strike a clear resemblance with an interview session.

“Yes”, “No”, “maybe” are the few words she can offer because she’s too pretty to talk too much.

I’ve said too much. And I’m sure you can feel my hurt through the letters. I’m also doubly sure that you agree with me when I say…


Beautiful Girls are Ugly.