100th Post

Hi.

Bye.

I kid.

100 Posts!!! Whoop!!! Like Wow! We’ve done 100 posts on this blog. Take a bow guys @cumical and @TheGreyGenesis and all you wonderful people who have contributed via guest posts, series etc. Y’all are far too kind. We couldn’t have done it without you. Well, we could actually, but that’s not the point. No we aren’t cocky…Anyway yeah, Thanks. Free reading for all of you.

So to today’s matter…

Most times, I get phone alerts about people subscribing to TSC and then my conscience pricks me especially when we haven’t put anything up on the site. It’s sort of like “hey, I heard your blog was dope and all, I read it and yeah, I think it is. So I’m subscribing so that I can get immediate alerts when you put up new shit” Then this my stupid conscience goes like “But look at yourself, you haven’t put up anything for these guys to read, how do you feel?” Then I tell my conscience to shut up because he don’t have the answers!!!

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So here I am today, after such a battle. As you can tell, I lost.

Anyway, it’s December and hey! That means Christmas right? Celebrations, decorations, events, gifts and all that stuff. Not my favourite time of the year to be quite honest because when you consider the funds that go into the season, you can’t help but weep. Usually, I’d do a post on how guys can escape the pressure of Christmas or how babes can get the most out of their man this Christmas but I’m quite responsible these days. I’ve seen the light and like Saul on the road to Damascus, my life and name has changed. Call me Snoop going forward please.

So what are we going to be learning today?

I don’t really know to be quite honest. I mean, I can’t start sharing on how we guys have this problem that happens to our phones around Christmas time. You know, somehow, our lines just can’t receive good network and when you call us, we can’t hear you. Sometimes, our phones even decide NOT to ring out. Like you’re calling us, it’s ringing but we don’t hear shit. I still haven’t unravelled the mystery behind that. No don’t think we aren’t picking your call, it’s most likely network problem. Oh, you sent a text, a BBM/Whatsapp message; DM’d us and left a comment on our IG page? Oh shit! You must not have heard that this same network problem bars us from replying messages sent over the internet. Crazy right? I don’t even understand myself. By the way, I did something there

Or should I share on how we become SOOOO BUSY this period? Like how our schedule just becomes mad tight and ALL OF A SUDDEN we start working late hours and on weekends? No, don’t think we’re trying to avoid going shopping with you because we know that our bank accounts will never be the same, nahhh it’s not that. It’s also not because we know that the price of stuff becomes ridiculously expensive and we’d cry after the shopping experience. It’s really just because we want to work harder to secure a brighter future and we really, really are very busy -__-

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Oh yes yes!!! Rhythm Unplugged, Ovation Red Carol and all those shows. Maybe I should talk about how you want us to get VIP tickets to these events. It’s not that we can’t o, It’s just that we learnt something special this year called delayed gratification. Look, what is the use of spending over N100,000 on one ticket when we could just buy the CD’s of these guys? Oh you want the live experience? Ok, tell your friends to record for you.

What to write?

HAYYYY!!! Let’s talk about the ladies and their amazing expectations at Christmas. I mean, why are you expecting a Christmas gift? Is it your birthday? When did you change name to Jesus? Pls whose birthday did you go for that you received a gift? Why are you now hustling your guy for a gift when you damn well were not born on the day? It’s even annoying because some of you now write an entire list. Please what is this thing you women smoke? Fix up ladies, Fix up.

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It could be easy to talk about those ladies that actually hustle to ensure they are in a relationship in December. Most of these females have a short term plan of 3 months. Don’t be surprised, It’s quite strategic, see 3 months is December –February. Just enough time to garner enough gifts between Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Hahaha…you sly women you. We know your ways o. Little wonder statistics show that there are more single men between December and January and the rate of break ups in November and December are the highest.

Smh

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Oh! Oh! Oh! How about we talk about those guys that stylishly ask their babes “baby, sooooo what are your plans for this Christmas?” Let me just tell you; No guy wants to hear “well, I’m thinking we’ll spend it together, maybe attend some events and just lie in each other’s arms..” HELL-FRIGGIN-NO!!! What we want to hear is “popsy and mumsy are talking about going to the villa” YESSSSSS!!! Please can you go? Can you also, maybe go to a village where there’s no internet access and crappy phone network? Look, let me just tell you, your man? He wants his space, he don’t want you around, homeboy don’t wanna turn up with ya. Oh, you think he’s been praying that ASUU calls off the strike just so your education can move forward? Nah b…he wants you away.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t do any of this shit.

Heck, I didn’t even write anything.

I still don’t know what to write on.