Signs & Wonders

Every year, there’s some prophetic declaration that Pastors pronounce. It doesn’t even matter if they hear from God. You know, because, sometimes the lord might be busy handling other important stuff like the war in the middle east, Donald Trump’s wig or Vic -O. Hence it’s a general occurrence when they (the pastors) follow the spirit (alcohol) and make these pronouncements under the influence.

One of the most common ones is “The year of Signs & Wonders”. The thing about this is that, whatever happens must be a sign or wonder. It must sha fall into one of the categories, so pastors can’t go wrong with this.

On that note, welcome to 2016 – A year of signs and wonders. In case you’re looking for a sign, they are everywhere. This year, you will not experience bewilderment and utter flummoxation! You will not look at a sign and wonder “The fuck?” Your signs will be clearer than Toke’s skin magnified and projected on HD. Better say Amen!

Now, there’s a set of human-like living things who apart from the above mentioned pastors, occasionally put up sign posts – usually warnings, or advertisement of their services or shops and how they can be located. ‎I call them human-like because (opposed to normal humans) their signs almost always carry the most ridiculous contents

Of course I took pictures of them. Help me understand these signs because I’m sure the people who put some of them up meant them as jokes…

 

I almost drove into the car ahead when i saw this

I almost drove into the car ahead when i saw this

“Fuckenizer?” That’s definitely a hybrid vulcanizer fuck boy right? Like, I’m coming. Are the tyres a representation of his rubber size? Is he trying to say he’s going to need something that huge to…? Someone abeg, call the number.

The CROCAT. You know... Half Croc, half Cat. Tastes so good in peppersoup

The CROCAT. You know… Half Croc, half Cat. Tastes so good in peppersoup

 

Their God, their Mother

Their God, their Mother

There’s several interpretations to this one. Is God their mother? Is the barbing salon co-owned by God and his mother? What’s the sharing formula? And why the fuck are they also into wears and accessories? Here’s something similar Sirkastiq found on Google

Capture

This one probably sells the barbing salons alongside clothing materials.

Rechard your phones right here bruv.

Rechard your phones right here bruv.

Who is rechard and why are we bying him/her/it a card?

Yeah, so I know you’re like a Mollusc and you don’t really come out of your house except when work or worship calls, or when you’ve set your place on fire (again) trying to cook that dope ass Egusi you saw on IG.

But if occasionally, you do? You’ll notice there are other actual living things situated around you‎. These living things have houses too, cars too, and they go to work, worship and cook Egusi too.

So let’s share. What are some of the most ridiculous signs you’ve seen. Pictures will be awesome.

Have a great year ahead guys

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