Seize The Bloody Bae!!!

Hello guys, It’s been a pretty long time I’ve been here and like I said in the last post, it’s as a result of a myriad of factors. Unlike in time past, we want to ensure that we actually write stuff when there’s stuff to write about. That whole pressure of writing because we’re expected to cannot work abeg. Best to have quality than trash quantity. (I actually believe that one day, somebody will do a small pamphlet of these my gem quotes” “Best to have quality than trash quantity” – @Sirkastiq 2015 Today, I want to ‘talk’ about the … Continue reading Seize The Bloody Bae!!!

You Never Esperedit

Shocker huh? Let’s just say “The Sarcastic Center” isn’t dead as you might have thought. Life happened and we all seemed to get caught up in the madness, with very little time to come on here. Funny thing is, Terdoh and I still kept doing our thing on TNC. Guess it has something to do with finding it easy to deliver when you’re not directly responsible. I don’t know jare. However, what triggered this seeming revival is the consistent visits the blog seemed to be getting even when inactive. You guys still dropped comments and stuff and this served as … Continue reading You Never Esperedit

Ebola 101

Oh come on, you know me better than that. That title is just really catchy, so I had to use something that will catch your attention. It’s just my way of making you want to click the link… Now that I think about it, the entire blogosphere is saturated with new posts and sites telling you about the virus and how to prevent it and what not. So you people are already tired of hearing this shit. Meaning this title might actually drive people away. Oh well, I’ve already started writing it, I might as well finish. This post is … Continue reading Ebola 101

Beautiful Girls Are Ugly

Beautiful Girls are Ugly. It’s a stretched oxymoron alright, but it’s indubitably the truth. Just hear me out here. “Inner beauty matters most” is the go-to quote for those of us who didn’t win the facial beauty lottery. But it goes beyond that. It’s a universally accepted fact. I guarantee you it wasn’t just a phrase coined by the president of the UPU (Ugly People Union, and yes, that’s a thing) to make its members feel good. Beauty comes in different shapes and fashions (excuse the pun) and when it comes down to it, of what importance is outer beauty? … Continue reading Beautiful Girls Are Ugly

Things Nigerian Men don’t/Won’t do

Ok guys, this is one of those all of a sudden-inspired posts that I didn’t plan to write. Matter of fact, I was just scrolling through my twitter timeline like the peace-loving individual I am and then BAM!  I saw this: And then a thought dribbled through my brain defences like…     And I tried to ignore but then I saw this: So yes, here we are and yeah, you’re welcome. Ladies are you paying attention because I shall say this only once and I believe once is enough for you. I mean, a word is enough for the … Continue reading Things Nigerian Men don’t/Won’t do

5 Things Nobody Tells You About Sex

Hey Guys, before you pelt me with rotten eggs and tomatoes, let me just cast myself. Firstly yes, we’ve been epileptic with posts. I take responsibility for that. I feel like I’m basically nearing the end of my writing sojourn here. These days, i’m short on ideas and I just want to manage things. Might have to do with more responsibility and shit. Funny enough, I’m pretty frequent with my posts on TNC so I don’t understand it. Anyway, yeah… So last month, a friend sent me this post which I featured on TNC, for the benefit of those who … Continue reading 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Sex

Presidential Speech

          I don’t know who wrote this. Ehen! My Fellow Nigerians, I have read with deep surprise the reports on various matters affecting our nation. I have also been briefed by my aides on the uproar caused by these events. Let me assure you that I am fully aware of all that is going on. The truth is you people will not even allow somebody to rest. You actually think I left the comfort of my home in Bayelsa to come to Abuja and be daily bombarded with problems? Is that how you people were raised, … Continue reading Presidential Speech

Late Sadiq’s 30 Rules

In the year 1960, my great-grand father, Sadiq (nicknamed “Sir Dick” for his lengthy penis) wrote down a few guidelines for the future Nigerian (male) youths with the hope of sneaking it into the constitution. Sadly, it was rejected and called “a huge waste of time”. Sadiq is dead but I, El-Farooq shall carry on his legacy and share his rules with you with the hope that lives will be touched. [don’t ask how he knew about stuff like FIFA games & selfies back in 1960, just umm…play along]. Ladies, you can read this too & set your man straight: … Continue reading Late Sadiq’s 30 Rules

7 (or 6) Habits of Highly Annoying People

“This world is not my home, I’m just passing through.” The problem is I don’t know where I’m going so basically we just dey go innit? In my few years on earth, I’ve come across different types of people. These include the smart, beautiful, aesthetically challenged and the downright weird amongst others. I don’t mean to bore you and I apologize if I’ve done that thus far. Anyway, the reason we’re here is cos I posted a link and you’re interested in reading what TSC has to say today. That’s basically it. Do you guys have those friends that do … Continue reading 7 (or 6) Habits of Highly Annoying People