You Never Esperedit

Shocker huh? Let’s just say “The Sarcastic Center” isn’t dead as you might have thought. Life happened and we all seemed to get caught up in the madness, with very little time to come on here. Funny thing is, Terdoh and I still kept doing our thing on TNC. Guess it has something to do with finding it easy to deliver when you’re not directly responsible. I don’t know jare. However, what triggered this seeming revival is the consistent visits the blog seemed to be getting even when inactive. You guys still dropped comments and stuff and this served as … Continue reading You Never Esperedit

Garage Boys: Global Domination

Ssup guys? So a friend of mine sent me this post a while back and it has been sitting in my drafts since forever. I stumbled on it again today and I thought it would be a crime not to share this with you guys. There…the best introduction ever. Don’t forget to comment. We live for feedback… @Terdoh… ***  *Everywhere seemed calm on a Thursday evening. The lights were turned off, the tv set illuminated the room ’till it ceded to darkness.* MAKO: Aaaaargh! Na NEPA? FAJI: No, na PHCN. MAKO: *sighs* electricity can never ever be steady in this country. It … Continue reading Garage Boys: Global Domination

Episode 4 (Finale)

The time has come, once again, for all super heroes to come together and have a head count. I don’t have to go into the closet anymore since I came out on the 31st, but the others do. And I can’t pass out on that amount of fun, so fuck it! Imma be in there like my daddy’s will. Wait…I have no daddy. Actually, I think I have two. Anyway, I’m just going in there to watch, because everyone has a partner but me. Flash isn’t here, he’s still in the future. I wonder if he’s ever coming back. It’s … Continue reading Episode 4 (Finale)

Shitty Business

I must say growing up was fun. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t entirely fun back then but now, when you sit back relaxed with a hot cup of molten choco milo and reflect on the past, you actually realise it was fun – sometimes, I’m even honest to myself to admit i miss it. Whenever I’m struck with such memories, its the ones with me in nursery and primary school that get me laughing a lot. Come on, you can’t tell me you never covered your ass with ur hand, farted and used the same hand to cover ur … Continue reading Shitty Business

Fairy Fails

I was sitting around doing my daily Rounds of meditation, and a few thoughts crept into my subconscious and opened my mind to things that you homo sapiens have otherwise been oblivious to. You people have been in the dark for far too long yo! Never fear. Cumical’s here. I shall further proceed to enlighten you. It’s bad enough that you have no idea about the origins of the childhood stories you grew up to. And yet you stay eating food and breathing air like nothing is wrong! There are subconscious messages in the average storybook, and y’all niggas don’t … Continue reading Fairy Fails

Paddy Trumbull

Hello. @OluwaWanaBaba here. *blank stare* I’m here to tell a story, so can y’all please sit yo’ asses down? Okay? Better. *sips engine oil* I’m here to tell you the story of a legend. The person who makes Voldemort cringe in fear… The person who makes Adolf Hitler run for cover… The person who sends Didier Drogba’s babalawo to his knees. Her name… *crowd murmurs… “A woman?”* Yes, a woman, you chauvinistic egotistical male pigs. Her name… Paddy Trumbull. Let me give you the official gist first… What we told the public… Paddy is a 62-year old grandmother who fought … Continue reading Paddy Trumbull

The Schema

Hello Mortals… OH MY GAWD! He finally posted something! Cool your lobules, this is not a proper post. It’s an appeal. Na beg I come beg una oh. Say make una no forget say this blog still dey. Yeah. So, while I am stuck in this mortal body, I’ve been forced to do things that you humans do. And a lot has been going on in my life recently, but I’ll be damned if you ever see any personal stuff on here. I’ve got a psychoanalyst and a psychiatrist in my bathroom and rearview mirrors respectively. So, we good. Still, … Continue reading The Schema

The Origin

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here once again to waste time and talk about stuff that will not put money in your pocket or food on your table. Sorry. Today’s post will be… Where are my manners? Accept my apologies. Greetings! Mortals. Today’s post will be divided into two segments. One segment will be more interesting than the other. But you have to read through the first segment to get to the second. The first will be talking about the real origin of Valentine (as I promised last week), and in the second segment we will be revealing my top … Continue reading The Origin

Cheating?

Mortals! It’s been a goddamn busy week for me and it has been so fucking stressful, that I haven’t had time to write anything (for myself). Apparently, I’m too selfless (fuck you! I am!) for my own good, and I should put my fucking blog first. Am I the only one who thinks there are too many expletives in that paragraph? Let’s try something shall we? No curse words in this post, except for the ones that have already been dropped of course. Good! Just sweet loving and pounded yam lingo. Note: The words “Bitch” and “Nigga” are not curse … Continue reading Cheating?