And It Came To Pass…

That Solomon was epic. And God said “dude. What do you want?” And Solomon didn’t ask for money, clothes or hoes. He asked for common sense. And Premium Common Sense™ was granted to him. And two women came to argue over whose child it was. But Solomon had seen this episode of Desperate Housewives before, so he solved that shit with ease. And Solomon married like 300 hunned hoes. And Fela was like “damn”. And it was nothing. Cos Solomon wasn’t satisfied with having a different box every day cos that leaves out 65 days. So Solomon had like 700 … Continue reading And It Came To Pass…

Tat Ma Name

Beach. Movies. Video Games. Bedroom. Friend’s House. Clubs. Restaurants; These were the basic ingredients in my relationship with Koko. It was sweet, real and in your face bitches… I called him Sweat & he called me Salt, weird I know but that’s the thing about me & Koko we aren’t your next door couple. The fights were always intense & the sex was the Thriller in the Manilla, Rumble in the jungle type of shit. His dick was my weed, my drug, my elixir, my kryptonite, my food…. I smoked a joint every morning; just wrap my lips around his … Continue reading Tat Ma Name

Shitty Business

I must say growing up was fun. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t entirely fun back then but now, when you sit back relaxed with a hot cup of molten choco milo and reflect on the past, you actually realise it was fun – sometimes, I’m even honest to myself to admit i miss it. Whenever I’m struck with such memories, its the ones with me in nursery and primary school that get me laughing a lot. Come on, you can’t tell me you never covered your ass with ur hand, farted and used the same hand to cover ur … Continue reading Shitty Business

Fairy Fails

I was sitting around doing my daily Rounds of meditation, and a few thoughts crept into my subconscious and opened my mind to things that you homo sapiens have otherwise been oblivious to. You people have been in the dark for far too long yo! Never fear. Cumical’s here. I shall further proceed to enlighten you. It’s bad enough that you have no idea about the origins of the childhood stories you grew up to. And yet you stay eating food and breathing air like nothing is wrong! There are subconscious messages in the average storybook, and y’all niggas don’t … Continue reading Fairy Fails

Rated 1580

Good day, mortals. I know you’re going to disagree with me, but nothing is harder than peeing with morning wood. Not even pregnancy. Trying to get the Tower Of Babel out of a jeans zipper is by far harder than any math/physics problem you’ve ever encountered. Amen? That has nothing to do with the post. I’ve just always wanted to start with some absurd truth that nobody can disagree with for once. Has anyone watched the movie “Anonymous”? You know, the one about Shakespeare being a fraud? Well, I’m not even here to promote, what I loved about the movie … Continue reading Rated 1580

Things That Keep Me Up At Night

As we all know, Terdoh is a sick, perverted, gay dude. And I don’t mean the happy kind. See, he wanted me to write about incest. Like, brothers and sisters playing mummy and daddy and such. Can you imagine? *sigh* But really. What is incest? I mean, doesn’t it depend on how we look at it? I could spend hours online looking for irrefutable evidence that everyone is related to everyone else (seeing as we all started with Adam and Eve), thus we are all guilty of incest. No? Well, I don’t rally have that much mental strength. We will … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Up At Night