5 Stages of grief

Just a rant.

If i were to say “Nigeria is a joke” I’ll probably have lots of people agree with me. But look at it closely – Nigeria. Is. A. Joke. That said, what do we do to Jokes? We laugh at or scowl at them. Either reaction is worth it to be honest.

Comedians these days should have it easy because the country provides so much daily content, it’s ridiculous. If Trevor Noah or John Stewart were to be here, the daily show would probably have to become the hourly show because ours is a country that just keeps giving.

And guess who the giver-in-chief is?

The landlord at the rock. Well, the supposed landlord. He’s actually the biggest Joker there is. The best hands down. How many people do you know can stay without saying a word and yet end up cracking everyone up? You have to be deity level to achieve that form of humor, and the guy does it with such aplomb and aloofness.

Look at all those around him. They are always laughing. What level of jokes does he crack to elicit this constant reaction? Why isn’t he featured on Night of 1000 laughs? Don’t answer that.

And then, those around him, from his guy in charge of Information to his adviser guy on Media. What grade of Ijegun Igbo are they really smoking? How do they come out and talk so much rubbish so confidently? If I had half the liver they did, I’ll probably trash talk my way into a ring with Mayweather, get beat and probably get a cheque to last my grand kids lifetime.

How does someone’s father sit down and write an entire piece on how a mans humility is linked to his possession of a 32 fucking inch TV? Ergo, all y’all flossing with anything above this threshold are basically proud asses. Is it that when they get into office, they just become clowns and lose all semblance of sanity they probably previously had?

This blog is probably not the place for such a rant but hey, we are talking about jokes/jokers right?

Your guy got the votes and spends majority of his time outside the country, away from the citizenry he ought to be leading. Be like cattle rearer that leaves his herd on Lagos-Benin expressway while in bed at Oriental Hotel.

I’m not even mad.

I’ve successfully gone through the 5 stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I’m at the point of acceptance – where I’m just like “man, na so we see am o, hahahahahaha” I mean, gats join the audience who laugh on cue right?

You probably started this post expecting a well outlined story on the 5 stages. Good for you.

I got to the end of this post and realized I hadn’t outlined shit. Good for me.




7 thoughts on “5 Stages of grief

  1. How could owning a 32 inch TV be a subject of discourse on a president’s humility? The standards are so low that you have to dig to find them.

    Yeah! Nigeria is a joke and we’re all materials for Comedian-in-Chief to compose his next joke.


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