7 (or 6) Habits of Highly Annoying People

“This world is not my home, I’m just passing through.”

The problem is I don’t know where I’m going so basically we just dey go innit? In my few years on earth, I’ve come across different types of people. These include the smart, beautiful, aesthetically challenged and the downright weird amongst others. I don’t mean to bore you and I apologize if I’ve done that thus far. Anyway, the reason we’re here is cos I posted a link and you’re interested in reading what TSC has to say today. That’s basically it. Do you guys have those friends that do random dumb shit that makes your jaw fall to the floor? Am I the only one who knows people who eat bread and okro and feel like they don’t have a severe problem in their life? Today, I’m going to be sharing on such annoying behaviour. Before you adjust comfortably into your seat, just know that if you dip bread inside tea and/or eat cereal with hot water then you are also part of the problem in this world. You are the reason the Malaysian plane dissapeared.

          People that don’t drink water till they finish eating: Please keep your medical explanation in your pocket. If you’re among the sad people that do this, then you need serious deliverance. You people that do this are the ones who go to the toilet to release your shit and the toilet silently screams “I can’t take this shit” Fam, these niggas drop shit more toxic than what Hiroshima experienced. I can tell who you are by whether you drink water during meals or not. Be there thinking you’re living healthy; you’re really just a health hazard. Maybe because you’ve not swallowed hot eba before; that kind of eba that makes you open your mouth and transforms your hand to fan. Nah, you’ve not jammedLEE –          Those of you that answer phone calls, Instant messages with “Hmmm, this one that you remembered me today…” Look, you’re the reason our so called leaders don’t just have sense. The last time I checked, communication was two-way. If the person on the other side of the line hasn’t hollered at you in a minute, I don’t think it’s out of place for you to have been the bigger one, but guess what? You didn’t because you’re just an equal pant. Stop this behaviour before you miss heaven. Another variation are those ones that see you after a long while and say “you, you’ve forgotten me o”  Somehow, I have successfully managed to not beat up these ones. The Lord really works in mysterious ways.

-You Niggas that RT your own tweets, praise etc. I actually understand these ones. They didn’t get love while growing up, no hugs, no chocolates, and no appreciation. This is why they see the need to share with the ‘world’ once something nice is said about them.

twitter-retweet

But you guys have the IQ of a rusted nail to be very honest. Have you ever hi-fived yourself? That’s basically what you do when you display this act of utter ridiculousity.  You’re like “Oh! This person thinks I’m amazing so I’m going to share this with all of you because I’m usually an idiot, I don’t get this all the time so yeah…” Pathe-friggin-tic. Might as well say these guys are the ones that grow up and commit suicide.

–          BeyHivians and Rihannavians – Gosh! I always want to slap sense into all of you and then introduce a hot iron to your face for edge smoothening. I understand fanaticism because c’mon I’m a football fan but come the hell on, why you trying so hard to convince us that you know how many panties Bey has in her pantie locker? The annoying thing is not that you’re a fan, noooo. It’s how hard you try to prove it.  Beyonce uses the word ‘flawless’ and all of a sudden you wake up every day like that although we really know you woke up looking like badly wrapped amala. But in the eyes of the Bey fans, she can do no wrong.  Just look at these guys…

beyonce-3 Bey fans crayyyy

jayzinst5

Then there’s the Navy; You would think that Rihanna fans will mostly be chimamandists, sorry feminists (I mean after what Mr Breezy did to her) but i don’t even know. Rihanna fans are all about the sexiness that she oozes. quick to classify Beyonce as “forcing it” but they themselves couldn’t be sexy if sexy was slapped on their forehead. LOL. It’s always cute observing the banter when both camps are at it, I’m just here waiting for the scandal that will erupt when we hear that one of them is sleeping with the other one’s man. or wait, that has happened right?

Rihanna go gets a chest tat, and you decide to get the same even though you have a bag of rice as belly. rih

I guess this is something that’ll never go away and I might as well accept it yeah? Sigh. Sadly, there’s a new Lupitarian movement arising, although if you study these mitts carefully, you’ll discover most of them are closet Beyhivians.. Lord, deliver us.

–          You people that have made the “Jenifa” speak your way of life. No it’s not the use of “as in” or “it’s like”, it’s those of you that actually make conscious effort to speak like her. Dear Lord, I’d prefer listening to someone scratch their nails on a chalkboard. How do you not know that this makes you sound like you were raised by retards and you’re now the official poster boy/girl of retards inc worldwide. So this is just a suggestion o, It’s not like I’m mandating you to comply but you might just wanna considering giving yourself some sense and quit talking like you had no primary education. Although I think I’m taking a big gamble by assuming you did.

–          Chewing with your mouth open. Ask Lucifer why he was really cast from heaven. Ask Easy E why he got clapped. Ask Omojuwa why the SSS manhandled him. This is also the real reason Mandela fought for liberation. I can’t understand people that chew with their mouths open; your upper lip and lower lip aren’t just there for kissing, they are there to be shut tight while your teeth mashes food into swallow-able form. But some of your put the disgust in disgusting with your eating habits. You share with the world the content of your mouth like therein lies the key to world peace And my God, these ones don’t even chew properly, thinking about the sounds they make makes me wanna shoot myself. Stop it o! Every time you chew with your mouth open, a couple breaks up. See why our world is the way it is? images

There are so many other annoying habits that I’m sure you guys come across; there are those niggas that bite on metal cutlery (because they feel they must kill the spoon or fork while eating), oh! there are those that pronounce ‘fork’ as ‘ferk’ because it sounds too much like ‘fuck’ and they can’t be caught saying such. These ones eventually grow up to work with Nigeria newsdesk where they spell ‘sex’ as ‘s-x’. there are those (like my barber) that out of nowhere send you whatsapps saying shit like “hello” Me: “Hi, I’m sorry who’s this?” Him: “It’s chuks, your barba, how r u?” Me: (after being stunned for like 10 secs and trying to be nice) “Oh ok, I’m good, at work. Thanks” Him: “When r u comn bak?” Me: End chat. Sometimes I don’t know if this Whatsapp is a blessing or a curse. Plus now that facebook has bought it over, say hello to the resurrection of old friends.

Ah well, use the comment box, share some annoying habits you and people you know have. Cheers

Advertisements

57 thoughts on “7 (or 6) Habits of Highly Annoying People

  1. “Hmmm, this one that you remembered me today…”

    I use that line as often as I can, especially to females (and males) who don’t call you for aeons and then call you even after you’ve switched numbers and say, “Niro please I need a favour”. I think the law exempts me from passing off as annoying in this case 🙂

    Like

  2. People that insist on telling us “I want pizza/icecream/shawarma” via their status updates.
    People that insist on shouting on their phones in public even when its not noisy. Nice piece!!

    Like

  3. I don’t drink water till i’m done eating, shoot me. :p That “Hmmm, this one that you remembered me today…” is the most annoying, gosh! Tbh, i have some habits that i won’t quite consider as annoying but they are weird. An example is cutting my finger nails and keeping them in a container, i had to throw that shit away after a while cos it started to get creepy. Lol. Bye.

    Like

  4. Saka, Grey and T. I swear yall been drinking the awesome juice lately. It keeps getting better on here.
    Where do I begin?
    1. I hate when females wear shoes that are smaller than they feet. Esp open – toed shoes. It’s just all kinds of wrong.
    2. When people are rude to serving people I.e. waitresses, waiter, concierge etc.
    3. Yes. I can’t stand people who slurp while chewing. I don’t even want to hear you chew ffs!
    4. People who cough and do not cover their infested mouths.
    5. People who start standing up before a plane fully lands.
    6. People who walk up to an elevator, see that someone waiting had already pressed the button AND STILL PRESS IT.
    The world would be a better place and dolphins would rejoice if mans stopped doing these things.

    Like

    1. 7. People that still pronounce “milk”as “meek”
      8. People that stare at me when I’m eating because they want to beg
      9. People that pretend to be rich
      10. I hate “programmed people” i.e people that are so predictable
      11. I hate lightskinned babes that don’t know how to adequately harness their ‘lightskinnedness’

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I will actually never understand those who retweet replies to their tweets even when the reply is not retweet worthy or is even a copy of the original tweet.
    Then those beystans…like calm the whole street down already. You like Beyonce… we know…don’t be an idiot about it.
    #Mytwopence

    Like

  6. I have only one. I hate people who spit. Please the world is not your toilet.

    Drinking water while eating, especially cold water, is bad for you. Maybe take tiny sips to mash up the food properly for easy digestion, but any more would do the exact opposite. Bad for fitfammers.

    Like

    1. O! thank you! Ppl that spit! Sm idiots will c u walking up and still spit right in front of u! Mehnnnn dats my hulk trigger! Thank God for the grace of restraint

      Like

  7. I’ll tell you what else is annoying. Those that after washing their hands post restroom activity, get rid of excess water on their hands by swinging/wriggling their hands outwards and getting postrestroom droplets of water on people around. Like are you mad? Shouldn’t common sense tell you to shake your hands downwards? Ah!

    Like

  8. I have to leave the office I share with my boss EVERY TIME SHE EATS. Can’t stand poor/terrible diction. Can’t stand that whiny voice girls think is sexy. Cannot understand fake accents. Oh! And people that feel the need to give you advice you didn’t ask for

    Like

  9. I have to leave the office I share with my boss EVERY TIME SHE EATS. Can’t stand poor/terrible diction. Can’t stand that whiny voice girls think is sexy. Cannot understand fake accents. Oh! And people that feel the need to give you advice you didn’t ask for. Rude sales(wo)men

    Like

    1. Nex time, don’t leave the office. Just stare at her till she catches your stare. When she asks why you’re staring, give her the “you disgust me” look.

      That should sort her or get you fired. Not quite sure

      Like

  10. Loool..goodness!!!
    Ok I dont drink water till I am done eating simply because I get filled up easily. So If I drink in between, I most likely wont finish my food(poor eating habit..yes). It is none of those ridiculously hilarious reasons you have written.

    Hilarious post..you are what is wrong with Nigeria…how does one chew with one’s mouth open???

    Bye now.

    Like

  11. Smh* As I was typing, I kept telling myself, “Ify, add an E to the end of that ‘breath’.” But the devil kept saying “Don’t worry about it, it’s not important.”

    Like

  12. Mine people who come to blogs and fellate….
    “Oh wow. people who spit – rappers.
    Wow, Kelvin. Wow.”
    Like this was some earth moving brainwave you couldn’t have imagined, are you using your spinal cord to reason?

    Ps: Like your no-hold-barred writing style on the blog, can a nigga contribute??

    Like

      1. Lol, dont take it personal dear, just rubbed me wrong.
        You have a blog….that you always apologize for not posting in….Fun times…*evil snigger*

        Like

  13. Read this piece while having lunch and was forced to take a few sips inbetween mouthfuls like you prefer. I have gone thru and detest the whatsapp experience. It was my generator mechanic. i know a moron who chews his food like its a FoodNoiseCompetition…i also know i want to kill him. And my ex started to develop the jenifa craze till i knocked her upside the head. Atleast i think i did.
    Oh well, good write-up as always!

    Like

  14. People that cannot keep their boogie to themselves. When they pick their nose in public. People that cannot keep their nose on their faces. It has to be in your business. People that correct grammatical errors everytime as if their lives depended on it. (I only think people do this when ideas are lacking. ). People that snore. And lastly, people that act like they are part of the glee cast everytime a song plays.

    Like

  15. Oh yeah! and those people that see you and go ‘ You don come or Oh, you don wake’ while your standing right there! *sigh*!

    Like

  16. Nice post, but i also find these set of people very annoying, sacarstic people! You never seem 2 b able 2 get any worthwhile info from them, they are just plain unserious…lolzz..No offence o..jst saying

    Like

  17. I hate it when pple use their fingers to wipe sweat of their faces then flick it…yuck!..my seat partner in primary sch used ta do that every day after long break. Then one day it touched my face *shivers*,from then on I always had a reason not to be around wen he did that..lol.. Now. Do that,I kill yu!

    Like

Do drop a bar...#NoSoap

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s