“This world is not my home, I’m just passing through.”
The problem is I don’t know where I’m going so basically we just dey go innit? In my few years on earth, I’ve come across different types of people. These include the smart, beautiful, aesthetically challenged and the downright weird amongst others. I don’t mean to bore you and I apologize if I’ve done that thus far. Anyway, the reason we’re here is cos I posted a link and you’re interested in reading what TSC has to say today. That’s basically it. Do you guys have those friends that do random dumb shit that makes your jaw fall to the floor? Am I the only one who knows people who eat bread and okro and feel like they don’t have a severe problem in their life? Today, I’m going to be sharing on such annoying behaviour. Before you adjust comfortably into your seat, just know that if you dip bread inside tea and/or eat cereal with hot water then you are also part of the problem in this world. You are the reason the Malaysian plane dissapeared.
– People that don’t drink water till they finish eating: Please keep your medical explanation in your pocket. If you’re among the sad people that do this, then you need serious deliverance. You people that do this are the ones who go to the toilet to release your shit and the toilet silently screams “I can’t take this shit” Fam, these niggas drop shit more toxic than what Hiroshima experienced. I can tell who you are by whether you drink water during meals or not. Be there thinking you’re living healthy; you’re really just a health hazard. Maybe because you’ve not swallowed hot eba before; that kind of eba that makes you open your mouth and transforms your hand to fan. Nah, you’ve not jammed – Those of you that answer phone calls, Instant messages with “Hmmm, this one that you remembered me today…” Look, you’re the reason our so called leaders don’t just have sense. The last time I checked, communication was two-way. If the person on the other side of the line hasn’t hollered at you in a minute, I don’t think it’s out of place for you to have been the bigger one, but guess what? You didn’t because you’re just an equal pant. Stop this behaviour before you miss heaven. Another variation are those ones that see you after a long while and say “you, you’ve forgotten me o” Somehow, I have successfully managed to not beat up these ones. The Lord really works in mysterious ways.
-You Niggas that RT your own tweets, praise etc. I actually understand these ones. They didn’t get love while growing up, no hugs, no chocolates, and no appreciation. This is why they see the need to share with the ‘world’ once something nice is said about them.
But you guys have the IQ of a rusted nail to be very honest. Have you ever hi-fived yourself? That’s basically what you do when you display this act of utter ridiculousity. You’re like “Oh! This person thinks I’m amazing so I’m going to share this with all of you because I’m usually an idiot, I don’t get this all the time so yeah…” Pathe-friggin-tic. Might as well say these guys are the ones that grow up and commit suicide.
– BeyHivians and Rihannavians – Gosh! I always want to slap sense into all of you and then introduce a hot iron to your face for edge smoothening. I understand fanaticism because c’mon I’m a football fan but come the hell on, why you trying so hard to convince us that you know how many panties Bey has in her pantie locker? The annoying thing is not that you’re a fan, noooo. It’s how hard you try to prove it. Beyonce uses the word ‘flawless’ and all of a sudden you wake up every day like that although we really know you woke up looking like badly wrapped amala. But in the eyes of the Bey fans, she can do no wrong. Just look at these guys…
Then there’s the Navy; You would think that Rihanna fans will mostly be chimamandists, sorry feminists (I mean after what Mr Breezy did to her) but i don’t even know. Rihanna fans are all about the sexiness that she oozes. quick to classify Beyonce as “forcing it” but they themselves couldn’t be sexy if sexy was slapped on their forehead. LOL. It’s always cute observing the banter when both camps are at it, I’m just here waiting for the scandal that will erupt when we hear that one of them is sleeping with the other one’s man. or wait, that has happened right?
I guess this is something that’ll never go away and I might as well accept it yeah? Sigh. Sadly, there’s a new Lupitarian movement arising, although if you study these mitts carefully, you’ll discover most of them are closet Beyhivians.. Lord, deliver us.
– You people that have made the “Jenifa” speak your way of life. No it’s not the use of “as in” or “it’s like”, it’s those of you that actually make conscious effort to speak like her. Dear Lord, I’d prefer listening to someone scratch their nails on a chalkboard. How do you not know that this makes you sound like you were raised by retards and you’re now the official poster boy/girl of retards inc worldwide. So this is just a suggestion o, It’s not like I’m mandating you to comply but you might just wanna considering giving yourself some sense and quit talking like you had no primary education. Although I think I’m taking a big gamble by assuming you did.
– Chewing with your mouth open. Ask Lucifer why he was really cast from heaven. Ask Easy E why he got clapped. Ask Omojuwa why the SSS manhandled him. This is also the real reason Mandela fought for liberation. I can’t understand people that chew with their mouths open; your upper lip and lower lip aren’t just there for kissing, they are there to be shut tight while your teeth mashes food into swallow-able form. But some of your put the disgust in disgusting with your eating habits. You share with the world the content of your mouth like therein lies the key to world peace And my God, these ones don’t even chew properly, thinking about the sounds they make makes me wanna shoot myself. Stop it o! Every time you chew with your mouth open, a couple breaks up. See why our world is the way it is?
There are so many other annoying habits that I’m sure you guys come across; there are those niggas that bite on metal cutlery (because they feel they must kill the spoon or fork while eating), oh! there are those that pronounce ‘fork’ as ‘ferk’ because it sounds too much like ‘fuck’ and they can’t be caught saying such. These ones eventually grow up to work with Nigeria newsdesk where they spell ‘sex’ as ‘s-x’. there are those (like my barber) that out of nowhere send you whatsapps saying shit like “hello” Me: “Hi, I’m sorry who’s this?” Him: “It’s chuks, your barba, how r u?” Me: (after being stunned for like 10 secs and trying to be nice) “Oh ok, I’m good, at work. Thanks” Him: “When r u comn bak?” Me: End chat. Sometimes I don’t know if this Whatsapp is a blessing or a curse. Plus now that facebook has bought it over, say hello to the resurrection of old friends.
Ah well, use the comment box, share some annoying habits you and people you know have. Cheers