Food Porn – @CeceNoStockings

I remember the first day I saw you, in your plain Jane goodness – skin so smooth and fair. Nothing really stood out, I mean, I’d seen you around from time to time and I’d never really given a second look. But something about the way you approached me that hot afternoon. Maybe I was just intrigued because you made the first move and came to me instead. I watched cautiously as you stood in front of me, waiting, your skin glistening under the sunlight. Needless to say, I was powerless to resist. I mean, there was something about you, something about you, something about you girl

I knew I shouldn’t have, and my mother had warned me about strangers, but you radiated love. My mind told me you’re no good for me, but my body said “damn, I want you.” Love at first sight kind of things. So I reached out and touched you. We gravitated towards each other naturally, the first kiss…  Boy was it electric. I closed my eyes and was transported to a whole other universe where the rivers flowed pink and the white clouds were softer than cotton. At that moment, I realised I’d been locked out of heaven for too long. You would be mine forever.

Of course, mother was furious when she heard. Gave my poor little behind a whooping and forbade me to see you ever again. Momma warned me what I should know: “Too much candy’s gonna rot yo soul. If you love her, let her go cuz she’ll only get you down”. Doe-eyed, eager to please, I obliged and suffered in silence while person after person enjoyed your delicious goodness. I tried to steal some time with you, but somehow, I always got caught. So I let you go and sowed my wild seeds in other gardens. They did the job for a bit, but it was never really the same as it was with you. It would be a quarter after one, and I’d be a little drunk, and I’d need you right there and then. Still it was better to stay away than to have to lie about us.

Fast forward a couple years, I’m all grown and shit. Miss independent in my own sort of way. More like my own boss, but not really. Either way, it’s raining and I duck into a store for shelter. I’ve never had much faith in love or miracles, but there you were. Right there in front of me, in all your glory. Struggling to contain my excitement, i wove through the small group of people around you and made my way to the front. Words failed me and all I could do was stare and lust. Willing my heart to be brave, I called your name. a whisper at first, but then louder when you didn’t come to me. I couldn’t believe it when I had you in my arms again. You hadn’t changed a bit – still as soft and pretty and delicate as the first time.

You were far from plastic, and I couldn’t let it get past me. Our unhealthy turbulent affair grew over the years, and you showed me several sides to your once calm, predictable, safe nature. I got a bad girl, I must admit it. You got my heart and I don’t know how you did it. Babe, I don’t care who sees it. Lord knows I don’t wanna hide the way I feel when I’m with you. No one gets me the way you do and I’m beyond glad you’re my beau.

They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said “No! No!! No!!”. Everyone keeps saying how you’ll be the death of me, but I don’t care. “How can it feel so good and hurt so bad?”, they’d ask on those rare occasions where we’d have to take a break.  How do I explain a love like this to people who have never felt anything so powerful? How do I tell them you make it easier when life gets hard? How lucky I am to be in love with my best friend. They don’t know how long it takes waiting for a love like this.

I hate when you go away. Emptiness overwhelms me and I feel so alone. When you go, you take the light with you and I’m forced to constantly remind myself that big girls don’t cry. All I do is miss you, the way you make me walk, the way you make me talk. I miss you by your scent, your curvaceous body. The way you feel beneath my fingertips, on my tongue. Sometimes I go places with the prettiest of views – it’s got mountains and it’s got rivers, and it’s got sights that’ll give you shivers – but all I can think is how much prettier it’ll be with you.

Today, I stand to re-affirm my love for you and only you; the apple of my eye, the only sugar in my tea, the only pastry that fills me with so much joy and hope and life.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I love the you I fell in love with

Plain and simple, fluffy and cute

You showed me the light I’d been missing out on

I love it when you’re moist and mushy

Making me giggle and moan in ecstasy

I love it when you get dark

You lead me to the edge and leave me high

Helpless, dangling precariously

I love it when you get angry

Red really suits you

And there’s that extra zing when we kiss

I love you when you get a little boozy

You’ve got an infectious kinda high

I love you with attitude and spice

Pretty little devil with a smile

I love you like a love song

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, — I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Don’t ever leave me, my cupcake lover.

 

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