Yo Yo Yo!!! Mic test one, two || Better give way cos I’m coming through
Like a bull in China || I rip right through you
Nikki, Minaj I’m talking to you.
Dear God!!! You guys see how much of a lyrical genius I am, Can you actually use your eyes to see how awesome I am? I’m really thinking of diving into this rap shit, Michael Phelps. Look my rap sheet longer than the third, mehn lemme land. Hahahahaha!! I’m too funny abeg. Anyways, welcome to TSC today, I’ve got a special lined up for you guys. See yeah, today we’re going to be talking music. I actually consider myself an authority when it comes to Nigerian music, Shut up, open your blog and write your own. Where was I? Oh yes, the music Industry. Most times, I have opinions on new songs etc, I just go on twitter and drop my 2 cents no 50. However, today I’m just going to share what is my humble opinion on some of these guys. Matter of fact, the opinion might not be very humble, yes I’m proud like that.
Let’s proceed shall we?
D’banj. I’M DBANJ orskibanjasmyjamaicanfriendscallme…Well sir, we know who you are but we really don’t care anymore. Secondly sir, we’ve also noticed you don’t use the skibanj line anymore. It’s ok, we understand that your Jamaican friends have left you. See, it’s really not your fault. Sir, have you listened to your ‘songs’ of recent? No, I need you to answer sincerely, can you actually have the patience and sit through a playlist of your songs without scratching your nails on glass in excitement? Guys! Guys! What happened to the Kokomaster? What happened to the Tongolo master? What happened to the “Why Me?” crooner? Since D’banj joined GOOD music, all we’ve h(e)a(r)d is bad music. Have you guys listened to “Don’t tell me nonsense?”,”finally” and even the one that featured Snoop Lion and Big Sean was …My God. Some believe it’s the split with Don Jazzy that caused it, Me I don’t know.
It’s not as if ‘Eja nla’ (TF does this even mean) had deep lyrics but he did have entertainment ability. Nowadays I’d rather watch NTA News on a black and white Tv with no sound that listen to D’banj featuring Int’l artistes clearly used as some sort of catalyst for his fast falling career
P:S: For your own sanity, never try to make sense of his lyrics
Better find that harmonica again bruh
M.I: Mr Incredible has actually overdone himself of recent. I remember when MI was quite hungry and still rapped. These days, bros falls short of the lyrical quality that many of us grew to love. I mean it wasn’t such a tall order for MI to just stay up there and churn out quality shit.
But no, he had to show us how much of a chairman he was. “They call me the chairman, because I flow pieces…” KILL ME NOW PLEASE!!! Look I don’t even understand that song or video. I told someone the concept of the song might just be about MI’s ability to stay seated throughout a video. I loved the beat but that’s about it. I mean, if Jude wants to release a club jam, I’m sure he could do better than sound like a baga. Mi needs to fix up real quick, but my consolation is that it’s not over for him yet, at least the fat lady hasn’t sung. Wait. Wait. Is Sasha/Kel releasing any song soon?
IcePrince: Look, let’s not even hate on this guy.
Ice prince really needs to be thankful to those of us on Twitter who bash him on the regular. You guys heard “Gimme that?” That is a jam for dayssss and do you know whose song it is? That’s right Panshak Zamani’s. You know the trip? Ice has cooled down these days, I remember when he used to drop mind-blowing lines and you guys be like “wait, what?” I mean, Ice prince gave us “you’re like my dad’s brother, your swagger is uncool” hahahahaha..these days, Ice just gets guys to do all the singing while he does the chorus. GENIUS!!Now, he’s going to the BETs and shit. Homeboy has been working hard sorta and I think he deserves the recognition right about now, I’m not taking the wackiness from him, nah, that sticks like white on rice but versatility has become him these days and that’s top notch. The Aboki remix was meh sha, How Sarkodie go come flog you on top your track?
Wizkid: ALL HAIL THE KING!!!!! YAGAAAAAAAA!!!! Look, Look, Wizkid is the best ok? He’s like Wizking n shit. I mean, is it just me or has Wizkid consistently dropped shit that flies to the top and creates such buzz? This dude is blessed, no jokes. We have even forgotten this wiz the same Shitta kid with the fluctuating ‘H’factor. Now ain’tnobodygottimefo’ that. Wizkid stands tall in the industry right now and unlike D’banj, his reported split from Mr W seems to be doing him some good. The birth of Star Boy records has seen the unveiling of Maleek Berry and man, dude has some mad talent as well. Yes, I’m a biased sommamabitch but it is what it is. YAGAAAAA!! Now even my Toolz wants to leave me for him, but I’m not even mad
Olamide: First of all, yeah I know what you said in your head. That’s alright. Olamide actually needs no Introduction, 2013 has clearly been his year. While some say this nigga be riding on Dagrin’s fame, I beg to differ. There was once a nigga called Lord of Ajasa, someone tell me why he didn’t ride on same fame? See yeah, ko wa le tabi ke je k’o durosoke. Wo, if you want to know how powerful and influential Olamide is, here’s what you do: Enter a bus, when the conductor asks for money and you don’t have, hail him with the following words: “Baddddo!!! Baddest guy ever liveth!!!” Watch the guy smile and ask you to go peacefully…or not. I don’t know these things.
Iyanya: *takes off shirt* Yeah that’s more comfortable. Iyanya clearly broke on to the scene just by introducing the Efik ‘etighi’ dance to those in the city. All he did to make sure it was widely accepted was spend some time in the gym, get some tattoos done, pour enough baby oil on his body, take off his shirt and study some Awilo videos.
Next thing we know, the former love song singer became the Minister of exposure and waist. Iyanya is doing well for himself sha, even though all his songs basically have the same direction. Can’t blame the nigga sha, he’s discovered his Unique selling point and he’s gonna milk that cow till it dies. Father, we pray against arthritis.
Man, I could go on and on. I mean, there’s Bunsen Burna boy, Kiwi Black Magic, Teenage Mutant Ninja Davido, Newbies like Sean Tizzle, The Limpopo limp guy K-cee, Falz The Badguy and many others. I’m just gonna let @Cumical do a follow up post on them whenever he has the inspiration (don’t hold your breath, he’s quite a bum). You’re probably wondering what of the female artistes. Abeg, I hardly listen to them (true story)
In the meantime, feel free to share your opinions on our Nigerian music(ians) using the comments box. Also, WATCH OUT for our special series coming VERY soon. Oh yeah, before I jet out, It’s our own @TheGreyGenesis’ birthday today. I’m sure he’ll appreciate cake or box gifts. Um…yeah.