Listening to “No Love” by Eminem and Lil Wayne is not helping my present mood at all.

Can you tell that I’m pissed? I doubt it.


Well yeah, whatever.

I’ve discovered that i write my most heart felt pieces when i’m angry, in pain or that sorta shit. I started this post off with a desire to embark on one of my usual rants on how much I hate bla bla bla but somehow, i deleted that all off as i figured you guys are probably tired of all that. Besides, I have twitter accounts dedicated to that sole purpose. #FeetFam

Have you hated someone or something so much you just want to go in the booth and pour out all the venom you can muster on a track and them send them the CD with  best wishes for a good day? I have. Always. Your answer is probably “no” because most of you have bad voices and know nothing about going in a booth. And the only venom you have is wasted on Twitter where you threaten brimstone and fire; taking out all your anger on a helpless keyboard, depressing your caps lock because that shit shows how gangster you are.

You ain’t shit.

What happens to the days when we called each other out, met on some field and beat the shit out of each other?

Oh the nigga is hollering at yo chick? I’mma just CAPS LOCK him to death on twitter right now.

You ain’t shit.

download (20)



So yeah, we all have shit that we’ve bottled on the inside. I mean, if you’re Nigerian, there’s one thing or the other to complain about. From PHCN, to mosquitoes that visit unannounced, Indomie with no seasoning inside the pack to Jim Iyke unsensed, From the president to your girlfriend that left you because you didn’t use her picture as DP on her birthday.

We all have bottled up issues.

But TSC is here with some hope for you. Over time, our series have featured the best, funny writers and all, we’ve had readers visit and enjoy. This time, we offer our platform to YOU. Rather than die someday from High blood pressure, we present to you “AARRGGHH!!!”

“AARRGGHH!!” basically allows you rant on anything whatsoever. You get to pour out all your emotions into your post and let out the pain that you’ve kept on the inside. Your boyfriend is cheating? you want to rant and cuss him out but you fear people on Twitter will decode and sub you? send that post to “AARRGGHH” Has MTN fucked you up again, stealing your credit one naira an hour? “AARRGGHH” is the place for you.  Your co-worker at the office is determined to kill you with her body odor? go on, write and send it to “AARRGGHH”

Few things to note

All posts will be posted anonymously if you desire. (Pls indicate if you want your name/alias/handle to be published with the piece). All posts MUST have an angry-funny undertone or might not make it to published state. Posts can be real-life experiences (as these are the ones that really pain thus enhance the feeling) or imagined. Posts should NOT be more than 1000 words. Any post that calls out another person will not be published (we believe rants can be done with no name calling, Use fictional/ nicknames if you have to). Posts MUST be meaningful ranting, it will be ignored if you bore us with space tales et al.

We’ll create a section for this purpose and we’ll post as we get articles. You can start sending your entries from NOW!

Please send your posts to mrkelvinis@yahoo.com and/or terd_bend@yahoo.com

Don’t go and kill yourself in silence because you never had the balls to say what you wanted to say. Let posterity document your pain and share it with the world. No. “Posterity” is not an alias for this blog you dimwit



9 thoughts on “AARRGGHH!!!

  1. I do this ‘AARRGHHHHHHH’ thingy everyday on my Twitter and I lose followers & get blocked like it’s naaathing, now you people are tempting me to blog about it, you want the entire cyberspace to send me on exile. You people don’t want me to be great whatsoever, I’ll ‘AAARRGHHHHHH’ you Kelvin when I see you in real life. Shiiii..


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