Sirkastiq: Yo Cumical. What’s up? There hasn’t been anything on TSC in a decade.
Cumical: Don’t look at me like it’s my fault. You haven’t given us anything.
Sirkastiq: Such a buck passer. Anyway, I’ve been thinking …
Grey: That’s dangerous.
Sirkastiq: And I had this brilliant idea of a diss post.
Cumical: You think because you thought of it, it’s brilliant right?
Sirkastiq: Of course.
Cumical: You make me sick. So what was the idea?
Sirkastiq: Well, it is kinda easy. And interactive…
Grey: We really don’t have all day Port Man.
Cumical: Good one. So what’s the plan Saka?
Sirkastiq: Well, we ask the audience to give us the best diss one liners they have.
Cumical: Sounds like a great idea.
Grey: Only original stuff of course. No googled shit.
Sirkastiq: So which of you wants to go first?
Cumical: Hey, your mamma’s so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared from plain sight.
Grey: That’s a terrible one Cumical.
Cumical: Your mamma’s so fat she.
Sirkastiq: My mamma can’t be fat and skinny at the same time you idiot.
Cumical: You didn’t let me finish.
Sirkastiq: Shut up Kanye. Your mamma is so ugly, she broke all the mirrors in that JT video just by watching it.
Grey: Oh. My. God.
Sirkastiq: See how it’s done?
Cumical: You didn’t have to go there man
Sirkastiq: No hard feelings. Grey?
Grey: I like you guys. People say I have no taste in friends but I like you guys.
Sirkastiq: Screw you man.
Grey: Insulting your friends, enemies and family can be fun.
Cumical: especially when you don’t use common insult lines like “You’re crazy or You’re a bastard”
Grey: But sometimes the fun is maximized when you use those common insults then add more adjectives pertaining to your opponent (which may or may not be true) to the basic diss phrases. E.g. “You’re crazy” = Basic. “You’re single, broke and crazy” = Painful. Especially if it’s true.
Sirkastiq: Hell hath no fury like a broke and crazy person who already knows but is being reminded.
Cumical: IT. CAN. PAIN.
Grey: Now, when you add adverbs to show the degree of the adjectives which qualify the basic insult? It’s like setting fire to the rain and making your opponent dance in it. E.g. “You’re helplessly single, hopelessly broke, and irreparably crazy”
Cumical: Don’t do this to anyone who hasn’t mortally offended you though.
Grey: Bants a’ make her dance bruv. Bants are make her dance. But Bants a’ make her twerk when you combine the most common of all insults into simplistic one liners. Hence, where “You’re crazy or You’re a bastard” are common phrases and may not be painful? “You’re a crazy bastard” is a 2 hit Combo. #Science
Sirkastiq: “You’re a Single, crazy bastard” 3 hit combo
Cumical: “You’re a Single, broke, crazy bastard” 4 hit
Grey: Exactly. Then you can add the whole ngwo-ngwo. The adjectives, the adverbs and the combinations into one sweet compound-complex sentence structure.
Sirkastiq, Cumical & Grey: “You’re a helplessly single, hopelessly broke and irreparably crazy bastard”
Grey: That’s not a compound-complex sentence though. Said it was for the purposes of exaggeration and emphasis.
Sirkastiq: True man, I personally enjoy exaggerating my insults the way your humor is.
Grey: Yup, he just said you have the laughter inducing level of 5 day old sliced bread
Cumical: No No No, you missed the point. Exaggerating? … Like your humor? Get it?
Grey: HAAAAAAAAAAYYY MY GOD
Sirkastiq: Guys, Guys, no fighting here.we’re here for the people remember? So yeah , where were we?
Right, while Insulting people, listen or read the words they say and turn it against them. This helps make them look stupid
Grey: Um..how do YOU read the words they say though?
Cumical: hahahahaha BOOYAH!!!
Cumical: Interrupting people helps knock them off balance and picking holes in their insults gives you the upper hand. Remember to be calm and do not shout as this gives you the look of a man in charge..
Grey: which is something you naturally don’t have bro.
Grey: haha, I’m killing y’all like I’m dropping ice bars. Anyway, you don’t always have to swear to have the upper hand while insulting
Cumical: Fuck you!
Grey: Look at that, so bitter
Grey: Take hold of a normal thing and blow it out of proportion like: “something something . I’ll let you think on that but you’ll end up hurting your already absent brain cells”
Cumical: Dear God. That’s a hit straight to the groin
Sirkastiq: But you won’t know anything about that now will you. pussy
Grey: Anyway, at least now the readers know how it’s done. Can you give us your best one liner diss? Hit as hard as you can.
Cumical: Use the comment box, GO!!!
PS: We’ll give out One Lagos Monopoly Set to the person who comes up with the BEST insult (as judged by 3 of us) No Googled shit please.