So a friend of mine sent me this post a while back and it has been sitting in my drafts since forever. I stumbled on it again today and I thought it would be a crime not to share this with you guys.
There…the best introduction ever.
Don’t forget to comment. We live for feedback…
*Everywhere seemed calm on a Thursday evening. The lights were turned
off, the tv set illuminated the room ’till it ceded to darkness.*
MAKO: Aaaaargh! Na NEPA?
FAJI: No, na PHCN.
MAKO: *sighs* electricity can never ever be steady in this country. It cant.
FAJI: Never say never bro.
MAKO: You just said “never” twice.
FAJI: Ooh? Since you are counting, you just said it once.
MAKO: *Switches on rechargable lamp* you dey mad? wetin dey worry you?
FAJI: No. Heat.
MAKO: Ehn? Who tell you say heat no dey?
FAJI: Na your question I dey answer. You ask if I dey mad, I say no.
Wetin dey worry me, I say heat.
FAJI: But na true you talk sha. Electricity can never ever be steady
like ……..W4’s career.
MAKO: Haha. Wait till the guy feature international artiste.
FAJI: Ehen. You are even aware of the silent struggle. It seems like
everybody wanna feature international acts.
MAKO: Yeah. Nowadays, Whenever a Nigerian artiste says or tweets
“Expect something big”, I can’t help but thinking they wanna try the
FAJI: Blame it all on Dbanj.
MAKO: Was Dbanj the first Nigerian artiste to make that move?
FAJI: I really can’t tell but he is the first to shoot a visual
featuring a main international act.
MAKO: And now everybody is following the trend.
FAJI: Why do I feel like Dbanj is somewhere listening to Nicki Minaj’s
I AM YOUR LEADER.
MAKO: Most likely. Gimme a roster of every nigerian artiste that has
featured an international act.
FAJI: Psquare ft Akon, chop my money remix.
MAKO: Akon though. That guy’s career is going down the drain and he
still got cash to spend on some chic?
FAJI: Well. Well. Well. It is well.
MAKO: In God we trust. I think Duncan Mighty has also featured one Angelina.
MAKO: The Angelina is from India.
FAJI: *Sighs* Do you believe that?
MAKO: Well. Well. Well. It is well.
FAJI: In Duncan we trust.
MAKO: Who else?
FAJI: Errrm……. Ice did a thing with Gyptian.
FAJI: Haha. Wizkid and Akon on Don’t Dull remix. Wizkid and Dotstar on
a cover of lil wayne’s No worries. Vector and Mavado on born winner.
Ice got sarkodie and Khuli Chana on Aboki remix, I heard he’s also
working with David Guetta.
MAKO: Sarkodie and Dotstar are nigerian as far as I’m concerned. Khuli
Chana? Forget that guy. David Guetta? I’m sleep.
FAJI: haha. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in after death?
MAKO: No, why?
FAJI: Olu maintain featured Olivia. The ol’ Olivia from G-unit days.
MAKO: Hmmmm…. Not everybody can be Jesus man.
FAJI: And not everybody is Lazarus. On to the next, heard Samklef and
D black on Suwe remix?
MAKO: nah. I’m really waiting for a dope yankee artiste to feature a
FAJI: Dbanj was featured on Cruel summer album, on one “the morning”
track. Then Kardinal Offshall featured Wizkid on repping for my city.
MAKO: Dbanj’s vocals were sampled on that track, end of story. I
really like for that repping for my city jam but who’s the blower and
FAJI: haha. Mako you no go kill me. Bruno mars one time said he would
wanna work with Chuddy k. He said his works are beautiful.
MAKO: Chuddy k???
FAJI: We are talking about inner beauty man.
MAKO: OOH! Chuddy kay? I need to hibernate man, I dey go my house.
FAJI: ha. Na so? Bye bye.