ComPaireasons

The story you are about to read may or may not be fiction. As a matter of fact, what you’re about to read may or may not even be a story. To be perfectly honest, you may or may not be able to read and this assumption may or may not be a very expensive one. In the same vein, I may or may not be assuming, I may or may not have actual facts to back up my earlier postulation that you may or may not be able to read but if you’re still reading this, then I may or not be right seeing as you may or may not be reading this normally or with an aid or Interpreter.

Don’t get lost. Still follow closely as this is but an experiment of extremes; the two sides of a coin, the heads and the tails; the ups and downs. Today, we really want to stir up a deep thinking ability in you. Now this is a major generalization because we are assuming you actually have the ability to think. Please understand that possessing a brain does not equate to being able to use it, as some nature imbalances like disCossy and Jim irk have shown.

So why then are we here? Today we shall study some extremes and see the similarities and differences that may or may not exist.

1. Rihanna/Beyonce: 

I'm sorry wrong poster. UGH!!!
I’m sorry wrong poster. UGH!!!

download

In the entertainment Industry, this is one comparison that will probably never die off. Everywhere you go, people go on and on about which of these bombshells they prefer. Some like Rihanna because she oozes that bad girl vibe; you know she looks like the kinda shorty that hops on a nigga and rides it cowgirl style OMG!!! Beyonce however looks like she’s all about that missionary or doggy style just so y’know she can paint her nails while nigga be hitting it. Let’s perform a little experiment: Close your eyes, she’s naked…now which one of these women did you see first? I can best my last N30 that it was Rihanna. So for sex appeal, Rih might take the cake.

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If we move to class, I mean there’s no gainsaying Bey is the Queen Bee. We can’t ignore that she has a child (Let’s not argue about who carried the child) but she’s got style locked down and Rih can’t come close. I mean, She’s with Jay Z and she sings for the president. Rihanna is with Chris and CarryUche and she sings for dead presidents. I’m not going to conclude but if you’re going to compare, remember Rih is but a girl and Bey is all woman and then some. If you consider their music…

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they are actually quite different but who cares? I mean, how many of you are looking for depth? you’re just looking for a roll role model. Isn’t that why you stalk their Instagram pages? abeg abeg abeg. If you’ve being brushed by your guy before, It’s clearly understandable that you love Rihanna and if not, I understand your Beyonce leaning. Whatever sha, these two…Your call.

2. iPhone 5/S3:  images (2)

hahahaha…I’m sorry Blackberry users, please move over there and stand in line with the Nokia and snaptu users. Yes I know y’all are pointing fingers at me and saying HAAYYYYYY but like chill. I’m the moderator here and I am very un-biased and abeg levels have changed yannah?

LOL..Levels have re-changed
LOL..Levels have re-changed

So while I’m not a techie and I’m not going to bore you with specs and ratings from PC guide and all that, The major thing that should make you decide which is better is one simple question: “Which one makes the girls gasp when you tell them the worth?” Yes Yes, you guessed right. They are both awesome smart phones, smarter than the average guy or girl. Thank God I’m not average. Both offer different features; Girls using iPhones obviously belong to the #SizeDoesntMatter Clan and those using S3’s obviously love big stuff. For the guys, you got an iPhone 5 means you’re into slim chics and if you got the S3, clearly, you’re a precious person. This is science.

–          Sent via my iPhone 5

3. Kerry Washington/Nkiru Sylvanus: The debate on who should have the new role in Justin Timberlake’s about-to-be-remixed “Cry me a river” is another one that will go on for ages. On the one hand is Kerry Washington; famous for her role in Scandal as ‘Olivia Pope’ and most recently as ‘Broomhilda’ in Django.

She's actually smiling here
She’s actually smiling here

Look, Kerry was born to cry, have you seen her face structure? It’s such that when she smiles, you’ll be forced to hand her a handkerchief or tissue. It’s only right that when you watch Kerry act, you be brought to tears, It shows how much you love her. If you watch a KW movie or series and not cry then you aren’t a real fan. In Django, she cried much more than she spoke and shebi the movie won a Golden Globe? Her counterpart is none other than Nkiru Sylvanus.

cry dammit!!
cry dammit!!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get any of her crying pictures of the net as they have been taken down to avoid mass face leaks.Nkiru Sylvanus can cry for Africa, Asia and parts of Australia. She was kidnapped recently and information reaching us say the kidnappers couldn’t handle the generous outflow of tears. At some point they found themselves crying along and just agreed to let her go…

(To be continued…or not)

We clearly have so many comparisons to make and cannot exhaust them today. There are others like D’banj/Durella, Ronaldo/Messi, Shaki/Roundabout etc…We are going to have to do a sequel to this. In the meantime, we ask that you comment and list some similar close comparisons and we might or might not throw them in or better still, write a post on your own interesting comparisons and we shall have it posted.

Send posts to mrkelvinis@yahoo.com  once done.

Meanwhile guys, you’ll like to stay tuned and hear (read) what TSC has lined up for the Valentine season. Cheers.

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23 thoughts on “ComPaireasons

  1. As an avid reader of the blog, you disappointed me. I mean what’s with the hiatus between “New Yeah”? and this one? That being said..this is an awesome piece. LOOOOL at the Kerry Washington/Nkiru Sylvanus comparison. “She can cry for Africa, Asia and parts of Africa”….. Mull over Shina Rambo/2Chainz seeing that they’re both useless wrappers (rappers).

    Like

    1. Disappointment is a good thing, It shows there was desire and desire means we’re doing something right.

      That’s how we look at it.

      In the mean time, contrary to what might obtain elsewhere, we would rather not put up something just to be consistent. Quality is our goal and no matter how long that takes, we can’t afford to slip on that.

      We thank you for still reading and hopefully we’ll keep giving you stuff worth making you return..

      🙂

      Like

  2. used every iphone except the 5(which is a 4s with longer screen), and seriously S3 trumps, no compaireason there *techie alert* as always, I eagerly await the sequel, especially d’banj and durella

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  3. By the way, 2chainz graduated with a 4.0 GPA and finished a 4 year course in 3 years, i dunno much about his rap skills bt i know his variant of azonto is wack

    Like

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