Rainbows

Lol…You thought that was the end right? Me too. But hey, it won’t be fair to just leave without even saying goodbye. So that’s what this is. Before we get to that though, here’s my outro…

*****

“I see the different colours of the rainbow, which one i go take o, all that glitters ain’t gold, it’s all about the ego…something, something, something, somethiiiing…”

The Sun is quite hot this afternoon. Either that or my body temperature is attempting to get me into the Guinness book of records. I’m yet to experience a cold sunny afternoon, so I really do not know what I’m on about. I mean, it’s the Sun, Isn’t it supposed to be hot? Slow pokes. I stroll on, approaching a destination that isn’t quite clear but I do strongly believe in the words of the Immortal Johnny Walker who said “Keep Walking”

“Why are you looking at me?” Oh, I look funny? It must be my hair. Haven’t been to the barber’s shop in a minute and I look like a cross between Clarence Peters and Taribo West taking a shit. Don’t even picture that. But go ahead, snap away. Take as many pictures as you want to. After all, I don’t get to be in the spotlight all the time but what can I say, I’m hot and yes this has all to do with the present Sun temperature and all that.

Nothing is as it seems. Life in itself is a mirage. The things you think you see don’t exist and reality is not as you assume. Norms have defined you all and you accept black just because no one has told you it is white. Who was the person that decided that black is black and white is white and why have you accepted it without trying to prove the authenticity of the claim? Oh because you went to school, and learned some rubbish, you think you are learned?  Someone woke up someday and decided that 2 + 2 = 4 and with constant repetition, he made you accept it and BAM! That’s your reality?

How fickle…

Everything should be questioned. Why? Are you mad? You dare question me?  The roads are seemingly free this afternoon, I can’t find those rickety kids that chase after cars for a living nor those okadas that leave their lanes and start climbing on my road trying to knock me down. They’ve been scarce of recent. I’m not complaining as someone has finally seen what a nuisance they are and gotten rid of them. See how this one is looking at me from her car window. Like I said, I’m hot. Don’t look at the front where you’re going, when you hear GBIM now, you will come down and be speaking English. Idiot.

Someone once told me something, I can’t remember what it is and I’m sure I would remember if it was important enough for me to say here, but since it isn’t I’ll just move on. You’re also stupid for thinking I am stupid. What makes you think you’re better than me? One day, the scales will fall from your eyes and illumination will flood your sight, till then keep living in darkness.  Haha, this one wearing suit just crossed the road, there are easier ways to die sha, that tie can multitask and form a great noose. Heat is killing him o, and he’s there wearing suit. Stupid fool.

That’s true sef…

Why do you wear clothes? To cover your nakedness you say. In whose eyes are you naked and what even defines nudity? Do the birds of the air consider themselves naked; do the chickens feel deprived of their Prada feathers when they are stripped and about to be dipped in a pot of condiments? Oh? Adam and Eve are responsible? I’m guessing you know this Adam and Eve that you speak of with such confidence…or maybe you’ve sat down to tea with them at some tea shop on the sidewalk. I wouldn’t mind listening to your tales about them.

You read a book…??

Oh Oh! You read about them in a book and they told you to wear clothes? buahahahaham Did they also tell you how they were able to sew the leaves that they used to cover up? You amuse me seriously. Since we are believing books, have you read the Aladdin story? Me I’m just here looking for a lamp to rub and change my entire destiny.

You need to hear yourself speak. How do you perfectly keep a straight face and not burst out laughing at the sound of the gibberish you so confidently spew? This must be some form of super power. The traffic light turns red and woohoo, the cars stop moving. I thought humans were the higher beings. I thought machines were made to ease their struggle and be servants to them? Well, Traffic lights are the bosses if you ask me; telling you when to go and when to stay still. Bambalala Bambalala, I skip happily across the street, people seem to be attracted to someone or something on the other side as they are quick to change lanes when I come close.

Or wait…

Did I forget to perfume my body today? Haha..it has been a while I did that too. I should add it to my bucket list. Bucket?…i should add that to my bucket list too seeing as I haven’t had a bath in a while as well.  The gates start walking toward me as my destination approaches. This must be the place I’ve heard a lot about, No one said it was this big though. I think the gateman is expecting me as he runs off to inform someone of my presence, I walk in boldly, still hot by the way, Now the women and men dressed in white are running as well. I’m such a boss. I feel so at home.

I made it…I made Yaba leave

“I’m really not mad; my mind is just a palette of many colours” – Sirkastiq

*****

Thanks guys, This is it. The end *sobs* It has been a pleasure bringing you this series and on behalf of @TheGreyGenesis and @Terdoh, I would like to thank all our Guest Writers for making this a reality; @Andhiii, @MallamSawyerr, @Cikk0, @RaliaDsugarGirl, @NickFish3r, @Demi_Carson and @ColorMyCake we really appreciate you. Thanks to you guys who have also stopped by, taking time to read through and comment. You all are awesome. We hope this was worth your while. Remember to follow @TheSarcasticCtr for first hand information on our next planned stunner which might just come sooner than you expect. We’ll be back soon with more entertainment and all that gooey stuff. Cheers guys.

©TSC2012

 *****
Have you voted for us at The Nigerian Blog Awards, Please click here to cast your vote for The Sarcastic Center in “Best Humor blog” and “Best Collaborative/Group Blog” Thanks
Advertisements

19 thoughts on “Rainbows

  1. “Do the chickens feel deprived of their Prada feathers when
    they are stripped and about to be dipped
    in a pot of condiments?” You need to be tested, sir.

    Like

Do drop a bar...#NoSoap

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s