Which came first? – The EGG

Yup. We are back again guys. This time we want to hear the other part of this Chicken/Egg fiasco. hopefully, we shall not reach boiling point but successfully “un-scramble” this situation. To do justice to this topic is the downright hilarious, multi-talented Julia..@MsJulz

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You know how you sit and your mind wanders to various topics all in the speed of a gazillionth of a second? You don’t? Oh! Standing works for you? Do you even know what “gazillionth” is? I’m thenymetrically sure you don’t. Don’t even front, you also don’t know what that means, but its ok. I’m not here to slight you, Just showing off some of my super powers: the ability to switch topics with ease and create non existing words that sound right.

I kid really…I’m hungry

I am so hungry I started boiling a chicken before typing this. All this egg and chicken talk will do that to a foodie.Before I could start typing, my tummy started making noises and the neighbours threatened to call the police so I decided a chicken wouldn’t be enough. I took out another pot and started boiling two eggs. Considerate right? I know. I try.

So I’m sitting here trying to make sense of the topic “Which came first: the Chicken or the egg?” I have read so many arguments and majority of them support the claim of the chicken. This is just blatant oppression. Is it because the egg is smaller and cannot speak for itself? Must it still be subjected to such discrimination? A part of me dies each time someone says the Chicken came first. Are you all so heartless? Take you, YES YOU reading this. From whence did you come from? You do know you’re just a grown, creamy egg yes?

um…cocky much?

It’s a conspiracy I tell you, the government wants you to believe that some flying bird was flying around, landed for a bit and couldn’t take off again. Or maybe the bird was walking around for a minute and realized it enjoyed pecking at the floor more than the cool breeze through its hair during flight. Guess what it did with its comb.

Creationists are yapping in the background. I can’t hear them because I’ve got my earphones in my ear and I’m blasting Rick Ross. Grunt. God created the earth and the birds. Did he create a bird or an egg or some chickegg creature that was a cross? However, he commands these creatures to fly and I guess one day is too little for an egg to hatch and the chick to grow into a flyable bird. However, chickens don’t fly so ha!

Let’s even entertain the thought that God created Chickens and not eggs because the major point here is that the Bible doesn’t record that The Lord made eggs. I have a question, don’t take it personal. Does the bible record that the Lord made dust? Yet, Where was the first man made from? Huh? Huh? Whatchu wanna say? Boo-yah!!

Evolution has a good head on its shoulders. Head…hahaha. It tells us the chickens came from the red Junglefowl.  I tell you a Red Junglefowl will taste amazing in soup. The next bit happened in either of two ways. Either a non-chicken got tired of hopping his kind and decided to ‘spread his wings’, hopped another non-chicken and 12 days later, plop. Or some weird non-chicken smoked some tobacco leaves and mutated into a chicken. Everyone was like oooooh. The mutation event is against my argument so pretend you didn’t see that.

 

I say two non-chickens mated and laid a chicken egg. Allow me to slide unto another aspect for a little bit. The Igbo girl in me wants to say birds were laying eggs before chickens came along with their awful cluck but I know we’re talking about chicken eggs. I just thought I would throw that in there like I just threw that whole onion into my pot of chicken.

As I was saying, these non-chickens laid an egg from which a chicken waltzed out. The moment the chicken came out it stopped being a non-chicken egg and became a chicken egg.  DO NOT ARGUE, JUST ACCEPT IT!!!

It’s not rocket science really. It’s just plain common sense. Have your parents ever told you “remember the home you come from?” It just shatters my heart when I see chickens that fail to remember the home they CAME from (the egg). They now strut about, carrying their shoulders, flapping wings and poking their beaks upwards, some even become cocky. I was raised up well enough to never forget my home. My home comes first. The egg came first.

Still doubting you terrible Thomas, how about you go ponder on the picture below and come to your conclusion. My work here is done.

With these points you better be convinced the egg came first. I know where you live.

 

Oh, eggs just boiled.

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30 thoughts on “Which came first? – The EGG

  1. Absolutely Hilarious.
    You won me over with the “bible didn’t record man being made from dust” part.
    So YEAH. The Egg Came First!
    The nude pictures please? ;;)

    Like

  2. But the bible does say God created the heavens and the earth, and last I checked, earth = dust. So booyah, the chicken came first.

    Like

  3. All I can say is what the friggin’ fu…wait, did u say nude pics?
    I have never seen such brilliance in all my…such superb writing. Kudos missy. *waiting for pics*

    Like

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