The Zebra is BLACK with white stripes

Welcome again guys, In continuation of the ruckus that we started earlier on this topic, we shall now ‘hear’ from the horse’s mouth what his take on this matter is. Speaking on behalf of most of your negro asses, *round of applause…*

Welcome with me to TSC, the always hilarious Robert @Sir_Scribbles

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

You like huh?

 

Consider the picture above because it is related to our discussion. (wrong picture KELVIN!!!) I’ve been asked to debate a matter which is of the utmost importance to mankind’s existence on this godforsaken carbon time-bomb we call a planet. “The Zebra is Black with White Stripes”, that is the topic I’ve been asked to use as an excuse to flood your mind with the Buddha-grade enlightenment. Prepareth thyself for thou enlightenment for thy mind is about to be blowneth (Yes, this one)

Definitely this one….

A variety of approaches came to mind when I took this topic. The most obvious one was to use it as a platform to unearth the racial undertones the words “Black” and “White” almost always transmit whenever they are together. Like on MJ.  I could have argued that Zebras are Black with white stripes because the Zebra, as a specie, are Afrian Equids, from the horse family, and are unarguably black with white stripes because the white stripes, though simply being natural manifestations of specific DNA traits, symbolise the indelible marks the white man left on the black race, evident in slavery, resource exploitation and allowing Goldie on Big Brother.

Hol’up, Hol’up NIGGA WHAAAA?

It would have been an easy and worthwhile approach, play the race card and wrap this up in two paragraphs tops. However, I have chosen a more pragmatic route towards the enlightenment I promised earlier.  Being the empirical individual that I am, I have collected and analysed urine and semen samples from volunteering Zebras and it goes without saying that for literary credibility in this post, I spent some time with Zebra phallus. Consequently, through rigorous investigation, I have come to the conclusion that Zebras are black with white stripes because it has a black phallus…tick tock tick tock Ive just planted a bomb in your brain

*tick tock tick tock*

This was fate. Having this topic fall in my lap is not coincidence because a few days ago I had one of those moments where the universe cranks open your mind with a crowbar and squeezes a drop of enlightenment from its omniscient mammaries into your mortal mind. In other words, I had an epiphany. I didn’t suddenly have the answers to all of life’s questions. Just one. “Who are you?” and thanks to the sweet all-knowing mammaries of the universe, I realised, “You are your phallus”

How very apt.

*tick tock tick tock*  “You are your phallus”.

Fact: “The pigmentation of one’s phallus is an almost accurate representation of one’s racial divergence”. Basically, Black is Negro, Pink is Not Negro, Green is Hulk. Semi-Fact: “Black Males are hung” This is true in most cases, except if you are a coal-skinned singer for MAVIN. Somewhere in a Zebra’s evolutionary chain, a white donkey and a black stag had a clandestine meeting and engaged in illicit relations. The White donkey probably did the trot of shame the morning after, the Black stag probably didn’t call the White donkey back afterwards and it may have led the white donkey down a dark depressing road filled with low-self esteem and perceived diminished self-worth because she thought it was more than just a heated night of horsing around when it wasn’t. Despite being the evolutionary offspring of the Black Stag and White donkey, the half-caste/mixed race Zebras of today have kept one unadulterated trait across generations, A Black Phallus. As rudimentary as it sounds, it’s a basic fact of nature like Water is wet and 30-day old Darling Yaki smells like armpit. The pigmentation of one’s phallus is an almost accurate representation of one’s racial divergence. Ergo, You are your phallus

*tick tock tick tock*….

Postulating that a Zebra is black with white stripes does not mean black is superior to white. It simply means white is a pseudo-addictive and black is literally its dominant colour and figuratively, its true nature. Vybz kartel has nearly bleached himself caucasian.But do u call him white? No! He’s black because its his true nature.

Um..after and before. Why Vybz? Why evils?

Only difference is a Zebra has white stripes and Vybz has a carton of Tura soap. You might have acquired various attributes due to experience and evolution but you never lose your true nature and as a Zebra’s phallus has proven, A Zebra is black with white stripes either as an evolutionary manifestation of its genealogy or simply a fashion statement. Even If you are a guy, take a moment to unzip your pants. If you are a girl, also take a moment to unzip the nearest guy’s pants. Now grab the phallus and give it a good look. Do not rub! Focus please! Look at the pigmentation. Now ask Who am I?/Who are you?

Oh my…Oh…Ohhhhhh…ohhhhhhhhh

*tick tock tick tock*  KABOOM!

Advertisements

38 thoughts on “The Zebra is BLACK with white stripes

    • *tick tock tick tock* KABOOM! You are your phallus, godforsaken Time bomb we call a planet. Wande Coal and Goldie. *why evils* :(.
      Since there are two different perspectives to this argument, I’d give sawyer my vote and support the cracker zebra notion cuz his argument had stronger supporting points.

      And what where you doing around Zebra phallus? O_o?

      Like

  1. “Having this topic fall in my lap is not coincidence because a few days ago I had one of those moments where the universe cranks open your mind with a crowbar and squeezes a drop of enlightenment from its omniscient mammaries into your mortal mind. In other words, I had an epiphany.”
    That there did it for me. I have seen the light and you have won me over to the…em…dark side? ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    Like

  2. Scribbles, u’r evidently a very brilliant person. Gosh!
    The humour is so understated yet in plentiful supply, and the way u stated ur premise n followed it up with ur logic till ur conclusion…nah mehn, I’m awed.
    You sir are a bawse.
    However, I still maintain that Zebras are white with black stripes.
    That will be all your honours. 😀

    Like

  3. I. Cannot. Breathe.

    LOL!!!

    Now, all laughter being laughed…

    The logic is infallible. The proceedings are now concluded.

    *Continues rolling on floor*

    Like

  4. “A Black Phallus. As rudimentary as it sounds, it’s a basic fact of nature like Water is wet and 30-day old Darling Yaki smells like armpit.” Mr Scribbles… Sir, I am officially a groupie! Nice job on the Goldie and Coal part.

    Like

  5. I’m biased towards this argument because Black is my favourite colour.

    Even though Mallam’s logic is efficacious, I believe that nature is life.

    You can’t trump the penis! You can’t!

    The penis is black! The owner cannot be white!!!!

    White Man with Black Penis = Black Man.
    Black Man with Black Penis = Black Man.
    White Man with White Penis = White Man.
    Black Man with White Penis = Cursed.

    You. Are. Your. Penis.

    I hope you people are taking notes.

    Great work Bob. (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)

    Like

  6. Hahahahahahahahaha. Cake Soap is d brand Vybz Kartel used in achieving his new Race. Tura Can’t Give U Dat, Twill Make U Look Like Dem Yoruba Women Who Don’t Mess Wiv Owambe!

    Like

  7. With all d fuss I expected something better. Beating around the bush with words to make the story longer. Bleh! You tried tho. At least not everyone can write.

    Like

  8. What of d case where the Zebra’s Phallus too is striped. ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
    I still think Zeebs are black striped.

    p.s I learnt somewhere that their hair color is actually clear and is just the product of their skin color.

    Like

  9. ”Black males are hung’ This is true in most cases except if you are a coal-skinned Singer for the MAVIN’ one of the well ochestrated subs i’ve seen in a while. As for the zebra being black or white, i think i speak for Mr Zebra, when i say he’d rather be labelled white (for obvious reasons)

    Like

  10. LMFAO!!! The Goldie part! Why evulls tho! I’m with you on this one Scribbles. Zebra’s definitely black yo. You sense of humor is amazing as always.

    Like

  11. LMAOOOOOOO! Scribbles has done it! Too funny! And that picture of the guy in speedos? Yes, I like eeet!. White marks symbolise the indelible marks the white man left on the black race, evident in slavery, resource exploitation and allowing Goldie on Big Brother?! LMAOOOOOO! *Rolling to the north pole* except if you are coal-skinned singer for Mavin, LMAO! That guy has suffered oh! Wonderful post. I love what y’all are doing with this series.

    Like

  12. But wait a second…shebi Oga Scribbles is a guy??? What then was he doing getting all “up close n personal” with a zebra’s phallus? :/

    Like

Do drop a bar...#NoSoap

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s