Why did the Chicken cross the road?

*Trumpet sounds * #NoRapture *Music and fanfare, nekkid women strutting their stuff* WooHoo!!!! Oh my…Hi guys, Welcome, Welcome to the first in a barrage of a week supply of stories that TSC bringeth thine way. I don’t even know what that means but it’s provocative…

And no, I’m not thunk i drink. I’m just super excited to welcome you to perSPECTIVES!!! Yay! So it’s here finally. Weeks and weeks of preparation, brain storming, editing, hand bending, nude picture sending (sorry Julz, it’s still our secret) and we finally get the ball rolling…I’m just gonna get out of your face now and let the writers speak by the words on your screens.

Welcome to perSPECTIVES.

Oh! I’ve still gotta introduce the writer

Our world is one in which there exists several answers to questions that arise. One of the most common questions with numerous answers is the “Why did the Chicken cross the road?” Are you among those that believe that it just wanted to get to the other side? Have you ever wondered what/who was on the other side? To do justice to this is Chioma aka @weird_oo… Enjoy!

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THE CHICKEN QUESTION

I sincerely have no idea what is going on in this picture but it made me laugh (._.  )

We are all familiar with this very famous jocular question “Why did the chicken cross the road?’ right?

If you aren’t, what are you here for?

This place isn’t for the intellectually inept. Go to Linda’s blog please. ( >_>)

Now to those of you pulsing G(enitalia)’s that know, a lot of you would answer, “To get to the other side” right?

Yeah right…

I have once attempted to answer this question some years ago, and my findings were linked to several historical disasters

I was naive then.

I have now discovered the real answer as to why the road crossing had been occurring since ad infinitum.

Something so terrible!

Something that would change the world’s view about these so called ‘domestic’ animals.

*dramatic pause*

Please put on your shades hidden under your seats to protect your fragile eyes as I prepare to dazzle you with my brilliance.

*end of dramatic pause*

In my quest to find out the real answer to this mind boggling question, I went round the world, back and forth in time, to ask the greatest minds!

(In the US, 1943)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Albert Einstein: “Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.”

Chichi: 

(In Egypt, Date, undetermined)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

The Sphinx: “You tell me”

Chichi: “But I just asked you the question”

The Sphinx: “What was asked?”

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

The Sphinx: “You tell me”

Chichi: “Da fuq…?”  

(In the mythical Kingdom of Denmark)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Hamlet: “That is not the question.”

Chichi: “Oh-kay? So what is?”

Hamlet: “To be or not to be, that is the question”

Chichi: I see…

(Where the hell am I?)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Yoda: Crossing the road a chicken wonder I not why.

Chichi: *opens mouth* *closes mouth*

*respects self and goes back into time machine*

(In Kentucky, USA, 1931)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Chichi: “Ye..na.. wait what?”

Colonel Sanders: “One of my chickens escaped from my kitchen?”

Chichi: “What has that got to do with my question?”

Colonel Sanders: “I need to know my chickens are safe”

Chichi: “Oh. Sure. They are…”

(In England, 1700)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.”

Chichi: “You have no friends do you…?”

Sir Isaac Newton: 

Chichi: “Painment…”

(In Tennessee, US, 1967)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Martin Luther King Jnr: “I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question”

ChiChi: “Such a cool story bro.”

Martin Luther King Jnr: “I’ve got a cooler one! Wanna hear about a dream I had?”

Chichi: “Um…I’ll pass…”

(In US, 2011)

Chichi: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Bill Gates: To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you install Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes at White Line 2.0, we have a patch.

Chichi: “Um..I know this isn’t part of my question but you wanna adopt me or something? A wife perhaps?

Bill Gates:

Chichi: “A girl’s gotta try yes?”   

“I know…” *leaves*

(In Now, 2012)

Chichi: *Steals iPad…sorry iPhone*

Yeah, my trip was messed up and I need to install a GPS into my time machine.

I was jet lagged for a week you know…

Dejected, I decided to look within myself for the answer, and that was when a little birdie whispered another important question: “Is the chicken male or female?”

I started.

THIS!

No one ever thought about this!

What if the chicken was male? That means, the question changes!

“Why did the cock cross the road?”

Why would a cock cross a road ladies and gentlemen?

Why would Paris and Menelaus fight over Helen of Troy?

Why would Orochimaru and Madara fight over me? (Dispute this fact and die.)

The answer is simple.

Pussy.

A pussy cat.

Yes, Helen had a pussycat. I have a pussycat. You have a pussy cat. We have pussycats. Ok, I think my time machine has broken down again because I have no idea where I am going with this. (._.  ) (  ._.)

You understand me.

Yes you do.

Fuqing degenerates.

Moving on…

Now when it was a female chicken, Why would a hen cross the road?

A chicken is a farm animal…and a farm implement. -_-

The chick has been getting laid yo!

Oh these animals be frisky ladies and gentlemen!

Frisky!

They stay getting booty and Ds on the regs yo!

Even more than some of you all reading this.

Even more than me writing this.

*Sigh*

*Wipes struggle virgin tears*

Truth is, at the end of the day, I had to ask the main animal itself. I needed to confirm that my theory was correct.

So, I hooked up with this cock and had an intense oral…conversation.

EOL. (X_o)

I got the Ela of Life.

THE END…for now.