THE GREEN LANTERN COMES OUT AS BRAVE, MIGHTY, AND GAY.
The newspaper headlines are agog with the news of my sexuality. The fanmail from the regular people has dropped considerately. And have been replaced with a lot of death threats, (really, like they could take me on my worst day) a few broken hearted messages, some encouragements from the gay community, and a whole lot of admiration from a Chyke person, a certain @Monsieur_RJ on twitter who has consistently spammed my mail box with messages of how much he admires me a lot more now that I came out the closet, how he jerks off to posters of me, how I have become his new favourite hero, and how I’m basically the reason for his existence. Flattering as that is, it makes me puke.
Why can’t you people just let me be?
I reply a few of the mails and shut my GL laptop. Really, I could use some head right now. But nooooo! There has to be an eight-headed hydra in the streets right now disrupting the peace. Superman has gone ‘fishing’ with Aquaman, There was a meeting holding in GL HQ, and the entire GL Squad was supposed to attend, but I feigned sickness cos I needed some alone time, Flash had gone to the future to see his kids. He does that all the time, soft nigga. Wonder woman went home for their bi-annual amazonian training, and Batman and Robin were…well, doing their thing in the bat cave. Whatever, I was alone. I could hear the commotion the hydra was causing, and I remembered our watch word.
“In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight”.
But evil is relative. So fuck it. The people could use some fear. That’ll teach ’em to send death threats to the people who try to protect them. I hope one of them ‘Anonymous’ hateful bashers gets eaten.
I slip the ring on and concentrate, I feel the power surge in my veins, and the faint glow of green fills the room. Then I concentrate a little more and a stream of light shoots out of the ring and forms into a human, an Adonis. Perfect. He kneels before me and takes my pants off.
I did say the ring comes in handy.
30 minutes later and I’m a streak of green light in the sky. The hydra hasn’t even done as much damage as I thought. Damn! I sigh and charge down at the monster. The green glow around my body takes a more definite oval shape with a sharp point and I slice right through the hydra’s skin. In it’s gross belly I concentrate my energy and expand my shield until the monster is blown to tiny bits.
I fall to the ground in fabulous green splendour and light.
A tomato flies across my face. Luckily for the tomato, it didn’t hit – *splat*
An even larger one lands square across my face. Of course it doesn’t come in direct contact with my skin, but just slides off my glittery armour because I’m wearing the ring, but still, I’m fuming.
“Get out of our town, faggot!”
Isn’t this evil? Should this escape my sight? I’m a human being with feelings goddammit! I think I’m going to cry.
But no! I’m a strong independent woman and I will stand my ground no matter what!
I fly off in an array of christmasey lights. And there are no cheers.
Back in the Justice Lair, a few of my friends have arrived. Supes and Aqua are ‘chilling’ in the observatory, and Wonder Woman is spying in the Watch Tower, the Green Lantern Squad is on their way back, I feel them. But one person is missing. My boo.
Flash still hasn’t returned.
I miss him.