What to Write?

This is a RANT…

I’ve been staring at this laptop screen for the past 45mins trying to think up something to write. The kind of guilty conscience that is catching me because I haven’t written in a while is all sorts of epic. I mean I’m not getting paid on here so why am I even feeling this way? Oh! It must be because I love you guys so much and I want to, in my own little way, put smiles on your otherwise scrawny faces. Awwww…Have you ever wondered why these bloggers think its necessary to give some sort of explanation when they haven’t written in a while? Like they really think you guys care or even notice their absence. HaHa! they start saying stupid shit like “i’m experiencing writers bloc..” BOLLOCKS!!! Me i don’t care whether i write once a month or not at all, when i’m not TheToolsMan or that weirdo kid. Infact, who cares about blogging?

*shuts down laptop*

*45 mins later*

Question of life…

I still don’t have any particular topic to write on. I mean I could come on here and wow you guys with my relationship depth and all that (ignore the fact that I’m the guy who has had unsuccessful relationships).Wait, this doesn’t mean I suck at them, it’s just that I haven’t met the ‘ONE.’ Allow me to say if you are one of those that are waiting for ‘the one,’ you are on a very long thing. I mean, why on earth will you limit yourself to searching out one person when you can have the pleasure of testing out variations. Even science advocates for ‘research’ before a final product is produced. Therefore, do not … Look if you are actually taking me and the gibberish i’m spewing serious, then you are as confused as a *insert appropriate metaphor here*. Did you miss the line of me being the “guy who has had the unsuccessful relationships?”

What? Ugwu isn’t really cheap ya know…

I could also come out here and tongue-lash all you women that be putting us brothers in various zones. Yes, I know I’ve written about that. Are you ok? Isn’t that why I say I don’t know what to write about? Yeah as I was, most of you ladies here be enjoying the attention that these dudes be giving you, enjoying seeing your pictures on their DP’s and seeing corny ass status messages directed at you, you enjoy the subs and leaky messages on Twitter but agree for the dude now, wahala. Let me tell you, the lord is watching you. Be steady depositing brothers in friend zones, brother zones, he-sends-me-credit-zone, study partner zone, In-case-of-emergency zone, driver zone and the one that can pain, I’ll-always-cry-on-your-shoulder zone.

Haha! Him don catch you abi?

We are in the month of May and our friends from ‘the abroad’ have started coming back for ‘summer’ hols. Even though we do not have summer in this our country, who cares? Naij cannot carry last. You might be expecting that I’ll come here and start giving you tips on how to set that P but trust me, if you don’t know how to do that already, you should go find ground, dig a hole and place your head in it. I’m not even kidding. But because I have friends in high (blog) places, I have it on good authority that you’ll have another lecture on setting P coming soon to you. Just do well to stalk that Panda dude in the coming weeks. Registration for the classes start in earnest. Here’s how to register:

1. Go to http://www.twitter.com. 2. Search out the handle @Sirkastiq. 3. Follow the handle and DO NOT ASK for a follow back. 4. For those already following, skip to step 5. 5. Tweet the following “i am now following your sexiness, #SummerP101”  (PS:) For sexy girls alone, you shall be automatically followed if you ARE THE ONE in your avatar 6. DM your BB pin and await further personal details

Please Males should stop at step 3.

Coming soon…in 3D

You probably expect that I might mention some things regarding the Nigerian entertainment scene and the recent brouhaha emanating from the D’banj/DonJazzy camps, the recent Mode 9/Muna mic bust up and stuff but…haven’t you guys murdered all that on Twitter already, why would I make you click a blog link, only to give you a revised edition of what went down? You know the thing yeah, I couldn’t be arsed that Muna disrespected Mode 9 or that Modo (the most successful Nigerian rapper after MI, Ice Prince, NaetoC, D’prince, Wizkid, Basket mouth and Vic O) was childish in his display. What?! You question Wizkid and D’prince rap-ability? Have you no ears? Do you use ‘em to listen or to hear? *pause* This is a deep line. Read it again. And what do you mean Vic O is not a rap legend? Why evils yo? do you know the crowd that nigga pulls in italy and Europe? don’t even trip. Homie does more shows in a month than Uncle Modey does in a …yea what? come and beat me now. Yes i’m running my mouth (or keyboard as the case really is), If it’s paining you, you know what…

pass it mehnnn….

Moving On, not like i know where i’m moving too since i still don’t know what it is i intend to blog about today, sorry tonight. see its already 10:06pm by my laptop time. i started this post at 9:34am, here we are 12hours later and without much headway. Oh yes, i think i’ve got it! Should i write about the epic end to the soccer season that saw Manchester City clinch the title with almost the last kick of the ball? Kai Man Utd fans, NO LIE, E DEY PAIN!!! As in you know when you ask “whats the worst that could happen?” The football god actually desired to kill Alex ferguson with a heart attack but the stubborn Scot just refused to go. Losing the title in 2 minutes was the last play of the game book and Alex Ferguson mastered that.

Written by the Sir himself…

Anyway, seeing as i still i’m not sure what i wanna blog about today, alllow me state that we now have some in-house writers that are going to be residing here on TSC. y’all are probably already familiar with TheGreyGenesis, he’s going to be manning the “cool stories of Life” section, i’ll keep the other under wraps for now but the category will most likely be called ‘vanity’ uh-huh, yeah.  So um, till i actually have something to write on here, i’ll see you guys. Oh below is TheGreyGenesis, just incase you run into ‘it’ in real life or dream-ville

our new recruit…

Sirkastiq out yo…

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19 thoughts on “What to Write?

  1. LOOOOL!!! That is actually the way The Grey Genesis looks! too cute! Oh and what’s up with Nigeria and Summer? isn’t Summer everyday in Naija? -_-

    Like

  2. I actually loved this post. Laughed all through… “The football god actually desired to kill Alex ferguson with a heart attack but the stubborn Scot just refused to go.” So true.

    Like

    • You forgot to finish your sentence before posting, ma’am. I’m assuming that was supposed to end up somthin like:

      “Kel though is just so ugly…. *sigh*”

      Like

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