You know, there comes a point in every man’s life where he pauses, takes a seat and reflects on certain things. If it hasn’t happened to you, you probably aren’t a man yet or you just have problems pausing to take a seat. Now i know TSC is a place where you come to just relax and probably read some hilarious stuff, Yup. That’s what it is, Nothing’s changed. What you are about to read is however one of those “i don’t know where this is heading but i’m just going to go with the flow posts”
Sit back, relax…oh! yeah, you may have a problem with sitting.
*assumes the religious position, kneels down, hands clasped, head raised to sky (ceiling fan actually)*
You know what? *rises to feet, sits on bed and places empty chair facing self* Lets just talk. Are you ok with that? Ok cool. So here’s the thing Lord, there’s so much on my mind i don’t even know where to begin. Of course i know you know what’s on my mind even before i think it, but here goes anyway. I think i speak for myself and a lot of people when I say i wonder the reason for my creation. Why am i here? A wise(?) man once said “you begin living the day you discover the why to your living” Well, i paraphrased that but i know you know that since you’re God and all so *shrug* So Lord, why? Why did you risk sending me to earth with all the temptations, sin and all. Why, when you know/knew that there is a possibility i’ll be lost forever and may not return. You believe in me that’s why? Haha! Do i look like Job? (ok don’t answer that) You know i can overcome the world like you did? Lord, are you kidding me? I know you have a wonderful sense of humour, i mean you once punished a man by making him pee continuously but overcome THIS world? Have you taken time to really observe all that is going on? Oh, my bad, you exist in eternity not time. Ok, is the earth still your footstool cos it seems to me like you’ve taken your foot off the pedal just a lil’ bit and we’ve run amok.
I’m sorry; i guess this isn’t the kinda prayers you’re used to. I know how it’s normally done, i ought to come with thanksgiving, ask for forgiveness, pray for the church, my pastor, his family, the church projects, my country. I know the modus operandi but can i just throw all that in the trash and just talk to The One who says He’s Father to me? Can i? Thank you.
Yes, i was talking about the pressures i face here. See mehn…sorry you aren’t a man. Lord have you seen earth as it is? I know your eyes are to Holy to behold sin and iniquity so this might mean you probably focus on other planets because ours is too much of a mess. In the short time i’ve been here, i’ve done a lot of things you definitely will not be proud of. I’m not proud of them either but mehn…sorry..it’s hard. The ladies are all so yum, if they existed with Eve, i don’t think she’d have cast Adam a glance. Sigh..Lets talk about the normal things like money. If my Father (you) are so rich and all, why do i have to come here and suffer? Jeez! (this isn’t a short form of your name, just putting it out there) You know, it’ll be easier for folks to see how well i’m doing, ask me what’s the secret and i can just say “Baba God noni” and actually mean it. Evangelism by attraction you know. Do things just have to be hard? I’m struggling to get a job, pay my bills, buy credit and yet MTN will still be stealing it. Which kain life?
*knock on the door*
You know what? Thats it jare..i give up on trying to walk right, whatever is laid out for me, Heaven o, Hell o…i shall carry my cross. That will be all. BYEEEE!
*friend walks in and i share with him my dilemma in the following poetic conversation*
“I look all around me and eventually above / And I end up wondering is there really a God?
The one they say made Heaven and Earth and everything in it/ The master of creation, who provides my every need?
They say He really loves me and He cares for me a lot/ But where was he the day my little brother was shot?
If Jesus really loves me, then why does He let me cry? And if He really cares for me, why did my brother die?
How can you talk of Jesus like He’ll ever forgive me/ He can’t ever want me, I’m such a bad person to love,
I’ve sinned and done such awful things and cursed the one above
This is my life and I do not intend to give it away, especially not to someone
In whose earth I’ll rot away”
“You say there is no God and your sweat gives your every need
If you want me to believe what you say, who’s the man that makes a seed?
You ask how you can worship someone you cannot see/ But miracles are everyday performed with you and me
And these are not the works of man but gifts from God above/ Believe- start with his miracles and you will find His love
How can jesus forgive me, you ask with a teary face/ How can I ever feel that I am a part of the human race?
Jesus died on the cross-for you and all mankind/ His love is truly great and He lives to redeem every mind
You say: Jesus can’t want me, I’m not one to love/ I’ve sinned and done such awful things and cursed the One above
Well let me say right here and now, He didn’t come for winners,
He came for people just like us- a multitude of sinners
*friend leaves after some light refreshments and I lie on the bed, the chair still positioned in front of me. Then I heard Him…*
“I’ve been here all the time/ I never went away
I watched you toss and turn/ And struggle everyday
I waited, listening for my name to break free from your lips
I looked to see your arms outstretched up to your fingertips
What makes you think I do not care? How can I turn away?
You are my child, I love you and this love grows more each day
So now come to me and let my arms surround/ Jesus is my name, forever we are bound”
“I feel so weak and helpless/ As I stand before your throne,
I feel so hurt, rejected and utterly alone
And yet I know from this time on, my life would turn out for good
For your love was poured out for me upon a cross of wood/ I know that if my strength should fail or I should turn to dust,
My Saviour, Lord, Redeemer/ In thee I place my trust
For man is just a tiny speck/A twinkling of your eye
But oh so precious always/ Loved more than stars of sky
To be a child of your sweet will is all I ask to be
And so within my weakness/ I give my life to thee”
It does feel good to know that I always find solace in your arms Lord and no matter how many times I’ve taken my life back from you, You are still willing to ‘receive’ it again. But before you go, there’s just one more issue.
You know how You said “the cattle upon a thousand hills are yours…” in other words (paraphrasing) Money ain’t a thang… erm..quick questions: “How long is a thousand years to you? God: like a minute, oh ok… How much is a billion dollars to you? God: like one naira. Oh wow!!! Erm…can I have a billion dollars? God: SURE! gimme a minute…”
Ok guys, I didn’t start off this post with this in mind, it just kinda swung this way, the poem is actually something I compiled for an Easter something, but somehow it fit in as the conversation went on. I hope all who’ve read enjoyed it as much as I did, if you didn’t, ah well…your cup of whatever you like to have in your cup.
Peace up. A-town down….tunun tunun, tunun tunun…