FWB 101

Why hello. 🙂 Look who’s here. You’re all grown up now *pulls cheeks* Good to have you around. Bla bla friggin bla…the above has nothing to do with the below so just..bla bla whatever.

Yeah, this is how it’s gonna work for this month (I think) I’m gon’ be having me some guests over at TSC. This is because I’m a mess and will be attempting to mess up other blogs I’ll be featuring in. Hence, to balance the order of nature, I’m gon’ leave mine in the hands of those I consider worthy.

From what you’re about to read, you’ll probably decipher or deduce or de-whatever the kinda “people” that will be featuring on here. If you think you’ve got something worth reading, then bring it! No mush please. Visit Bule’s blog for that.

Remember, this is The Sirkastiq Center (TSC) and we really care…did I tell you I’m dating Megan Fox secretly?

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Hello, my name is ColorMeCake. If you’re wondering, yes that’s the name my mama gave me. I’m kinda drunk and I just want to talk about something I noticed lately.

Now, for some strange reason, Niggas these days have decided to become emotional creatures and its gross. Left, right and center I see these niggas sleeping with supposed one night stands, and next morning they calling these hos talmbout “Baby why you left before I woke up. Wanna go eat later” As one of these hos I say ‘No bitch. No.”

I see niggas trying to wife bitches who were supposed to be just friends with benefits and I’m like this is not what God intended. This is poor penis management. If I had a penis, I would be managing it right.

I like you guys and I just want to share some tips on your to manage your pussy life better. I know some of you look at me and wonder “How does she do it?” Now you don’t have to wonder anymore.

Now, I hope you’re reading this in the most ghetto accent you can muster. First of, if you’re offended by the words ‘bitch’ ‘pussy’ ‘nigga’ ‘penis’ ‘cock’ ‘dick’ ‘vagina’ then this post is not for you. So bye bitch.

Now, here are 10 simple rules for Friends with benefits

1) Do not store these hos by their names in your phones. Ever. Too intimate. You have ‘Ho 1’ ‘Ho 2’ ‘Ho who can bust a split on the dick’ ‘Suck Dick ho’ ‘Anal ho’

2) Keep your hos well separated. Do not mistakenly try anal with your ‘bust a split on the dick ho’ That might not go well.

3) Don’t fucking ask these hos how their day went. Fuck you care for? Far as you’re concerned. They only exist for one hour a day when they on yo dick.

4) Your phone conversations should not be more than 2 minutes. Tops. Ever. You: “Where you at?” Her: “Home?” You: “Alright, come over right quick” Her: “Ok”. That’s it. If she calls you at 11pm with any thing other than “Is it my turn to come over?” You hang up &delete that hos number.
Talmbout Her: “My day was so hard. My mama had a heart attack *crying* and I just don’t know what to do…” You: “uuuhhh are you coming over for some of this dick though?” Her: “No! My mama. .” You: *Hangs up.* *Deletes that ho’s number*

5) Keep your fucking emotions out your penis. The only thing that should come out your penis is STD free semen. My nig I don’t want to feel your heart beating through your penis. There’s no reason for that.

6) Don’t trust a ho. These are desperate times. Bitches will tell you they on birth control and not be. Double bag that ho. Or watch that ho swallow postinor and keep her for an hour so she can’t throw it back up

7) You should never know what she looks like in the morning. Why? Because both of you should not be on the same bed during that time.

8) If you have a gf or are famous, TAKE THAT HOS PHONE AWAY. Actually don’t. People like you are my saturday/sunday twitter entertainment.

9) . . .

I know I said 10 but fuck you hos. I’m bored & have other shit to do and y’all aint even worth all these boulders of wisdom I’m throwing your way.

Bye bitch.
It’s a beautiful day, Smile 🙂

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Editors Note: I didn’t edit nothing..yes spelling, grammaticall errors and stuff..ehen? Didn’t you read that she’s drunk?