Welcome

Welcome! Mere mortals…

He-he.

I’ve had someone tell me during a chat that I think too highly of myself, and I relate to people like they are mere mortals, like I am a god looking down upon them with kindness and compassion.

(Okay, maybe I tweaked that last part a little, but you get the picture)

I didn’t know how to respond to this. Are you not mere mortals?

*sigh* ™

I don’t know why I started a new blog like that. Totally irrelevant. But then, isn’t that why people open blogs? To write, to vent, to make people laugh, to set P (this is pure BS. I haven’t gotten laid from any blog)…all that.

Anyway, this is my new blog. You guys should take up jobs at bottling companies, cos y’all are pressure cans! Can’t a nigga take hiatus in peace? Y’all be tripping like Air hostesses.

A lot of you would like to know why I deleted the former blog. Well, cos I needed to.

End of story!

Don’t ask any JAMB questions in the comment section.

I know someone will still go “But what happened to the former blog? Why did you delete it?”

I will moderate your comment!

Bitch niggas be going [Quote] “I don’t know why he deleted the former one, when he knew he was going to open a new one. Attention seeker”. See? That’s why you a bitch nigga, bitch nigga.

‘Ssal I’m saying.

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. *passes offering basket*

I will, however, apologize for not making a formal statement before deleting the former blog. I’m sorry. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.

Am I forgiven?

Not until I tell you why I deleted it?

Ha-ha! K.

Right now, I’m at work, and my colleague be looking at me funny. So don’t even think for a minute that I’m going to give you a long post today. You don’t pay me, yet. So for now, Imma just lay out a few policies for the new blog and be gone.

Purpose:
The blog is solely for laughter. It’s just jokes. I will not be accosted on the streets for the ramblings I put on here. I have gotten hate mail and death threats in DMs and e-mails talmbout “I know where you live nigga. Imma come find you. You’re dead meat for that shit you wrote”

K.

Please, if you can’t take a joke, don’t come here. Na beg I dey take beg oh.

Abeg.

I may also try to work on my story telling, but it’ll mostly be humour.

Frequency:

Uhm…how often will I be posting?

What you think this is? Daily Times? TNC? I am definitely not going to be posting every day. Nigga I got jobs and shit to do.

I might however attempt the 30 day challenge thing. I hear it brings chicks. It’s what most desperate bloggers like me turn to when all hope is lost.

Let’s just leave it at once a week. It’s hard to find inspiration these days.

Partnership:
Guest posts are ALWAYS WELCOME!
Just remember that I am the CEO of this here blog. Don’t get pissed when I refuse to post your shit. It’s just business bro. Nothing personal. Don’t now refuse to send me naked pics. -___-

Don’t take it personal oh. Some people are gangsta. Threaten to come and find me after dark. I pray every night before I sleep. Y’all can’t do shit.

*Quotes Psalm 91 verbatim*

Yeah. That will be all.

Disclaimer:
Really… really? Do I need to write a disclaimer? You people are too demanding.

*sigh*™

No homosexuals were hurt during the making of this post. (But the song “I don Blow” by Timaya was playing in the background while I worked, so I really can’t speak for all of them). There was less inspiration involved here than when I sit down to make pounded yam tweets. Feel free to take anything I said here to heart. All gbagauns are not mine, return them. The makers of this blog will not thank you for reading this shit, but I will.

Thank you for reading this shit, all 709 words of it.

Have a great day, and don’t forget to subscribe and spread the word.

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74 thoughts on “Welcome

  1. ( ._.) This here nigga closed his first blog without an explanation, opened a new one and tells us not to ask him why he closed it. I’ll tell you what he is. Attention-seeking nyukka. Sue me *throws up gang signs*

    Like

  2. Please what is this derty shit, terdy?! Nigga, please leave your confusion in the toilet when you come out. If you’d washed your hands when you came out, you wouldn’t be typing up shit like this…

    Plus you ain’t sarcastic enough…

    (all puns intended)

    -_-

    Like

  3. LMAOOOOOO!
    Terdoh is back! 😀
    Welcome back.
    But don’t you think you will escape from explaining why u deleted that blog. We’re expecting a post on it.
    Good to have u back to blogsville, and this post was really funny.

    Like

  4. No. 1. If you know you are going to be addressing people as mere mortals, don’t be tagging me unless you go “Mere mortals and Larry Sushey”.

    No. 2. What is a c-minor? Breast size?

    No. 3. Fork you.

    Larry Sushey.

    Like

  5. err, so i just saw this, now not like my err opinion is very much needed but its nice to know that i can come online once more when cu internet is not so crappy and look forward to reading your blog. 🙂
    lovely stuff. definitely missed your mad side.

    Like

  6. TheTerdoh? Don’t you think TheTurd is more befitting?
    *shrugs*
    I like you, u’ve got potentials. Keep working at it and I guarantee you, you’d be funny soon enough.
    Don’t give up son, hang in there!

    Like

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