Welcome! Mere mortals…
I’ve had someone tell me during a chat that I think too highly of myself, and I relate to people like they are mere mortals, like I am a god looking down upon them with kindness and compassion.
(Okay, maybe I tweaked that last part a little, but you get the picture)
I didn’t know how to respond to this. Are you not mere mortals?
I don’t know why I started a new blog like that. Totally irrelevant. But then, isn’t that why people open blogs? To write, to vent, to make people laugh, to set P (this is pure BS. I haven’t gotten laid from any blog)…all that.
Anyway, this is my new blog. You guys should take up jobs at bottling companies, cos y’all are pressure cans! Can’t a nigga take hiatus in peace? Y’all be tripping like Air hostesses.
A lot of you would like to know why I deleted the former blog. Well, cos I needed to.
End of story!
Don’t ask any JAMB questions in the comment section.
I know someone will still go “But what happened to the former blog? Why did you delete it?”
I will moderate your comment!
Bitch niggas be going [Quote] “I don’t know why he deleted the former one, when he knew he was going to open a new one. Attention seeker”. See? That’s why you a bitch nigga, bitch nigga.
‘Ssal I’m saying.
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. *passes offering basket*
I will, however, apologize for not making a formal statement before deleting the former blog. I’m sorry. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
Am I forgiven?
Not until I tell you why I deleted it?
Right now, I’m at work, and my colleague be looking at me funny. So don’t even think for a minute that I’m going to give you a long post today. You don’t pay me, yet. So for now, Imma just lay out a few policies for the new blog and be gone.
The blog is solely for laughter. It’s just jokes. I will not be accosted on the streets for the ramblings I put on here. I have gotten hate mail and death threats in DMs and e-mails talmbout “I know where you live nigga. Imma come find you. You’re dead meat for that shit you wrote”
Please, if you can’t take a joke, don’t come here. Na beg I dey take beg oh.
I may also try to work on my story telling, but it’ll mostly be humour.
Uhm…how often will I be posting?
What you think this is? Daily Times? TNC? I am definitely not going to be posting every day. Nigga I got jobs and shit to do.
I might however attempt the 30 day challenge thing. I hear it brings chicks. It’s what most desperate bloggers like me turn to when all hope is lost.
Let’s just leave it at once a week. It’s hard to find inspiration these days.
Guest posts are ALWAYS WELCOME!
Just remember that I am the CEO of this here blog. Don’t get pissed when I refuse to post your shit. It’s just business bro. Nothing personal. Don’t now refuse to send me naked pics. -___-
Don’t take it personal oh. Some people are gangsta. Threaten to come and find me after dark. I pray every night before I sleep. Y’all can’t do shit.
*Quotes Psalm 91 verbatim*
Yeah. That will be all.
Really… really? Do I need to write a disclaimer? You people are too demanding.
No homosexuals were hurt during the making of this post. (But the song “I don Blow” by Timaya was playing in the background while I worked, so I really can’t speak for all of them). There was less inspiration involved here than when I sit down to make pounded yam tweets. Feel free to take anything I said here to heart. All gbagauns are not mine, return them. The makers of this blog will not thank you for reading this shit, but I will.
Thank you for reading this shit, all 709 words of it.
Have a great day, and don’t forget to subscribe and spread the word.