What you are about to read is TSC’s review of the just concluded TNC. *pause* Incase you are not aware, TNC (The Naked Convos) is our sister site and as such we are entitled to their content and events. What this means is that we at TSC have exclusive rights to… abeg all this isn’t necessary. Right, moving on…
Before i proceed, i might as well answer the most #FAQ “What is TNC?” Originally, it was a blog site managed by @thetoolsman, (thetoolsman.wordpress.com) now though, it has evolved to a website managed by the @thetoolsman. The difference between a blogsite and a website is; one is free, the other isn’t and me I don’t do free things so do the math, However, the event TNC (The naked convos) is a platform where people gather to discuss serious issues in an informal gathering laced with fun, games and stuff to drink/eat. PSYCHE!!! TNC is actually a well packaged P-setting platform in the mould of Jerry Springer where individuals of different brain capacities gather in an attempt to woo each other, (sheesh, who still says ‘woo?’) engage in orgies of all sort, show off skin (male and female) with an eventual goal of getting NAKED. In summary, incase you’re asked in a job interview, TNC can be defined as the setting for taking convos to the final destination of Nakedness. 😐
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, we can now proceed.
Bogobiri was the venue, 4pm was the scheduled time…The first arrivals abi arrivees were @UcheAnne and @BoukkieO followed closely by @Mz_Shadee *followed as used in this context does not refer to the Twitter lingo, Thank you* Look, im not here to do roll call for you people jare, yes.. so @CapoeiraPanda bounces in (BEING a panda and all, @Olatoxic, see what i did there?)and introduces himself to everyone there at the time. The look of shock on his face when he met @thetoolsman is akin to that expressed by Munya when his name wasn’t announced as winner of BBA.
Lets just say that @CapoeiraPanda thought Tula would be much bigger than me..
More and more people began trooping in, all looking ready to SET. THAT. P. The ladies, looking like pages out of Vanity Fair at first converged at one area (typical) ,seated, head down, fingers moving, totally oblivious of the existence of any living soul around, their focus on the screens of their BB’s or ipads as was the case sometimes.
Me, i didn’t travel all the way to Lagos to press BB or dull so I took up my position at the door ensuring everyone entering had the pink wristband thingy and welcoming the ladies with handshakes while secretly feeling the warmth of their palms. “Hi, my name is Kelvin” most ladies: *laugh* “the vegetable dude?” Me: “ #WithAnL” “Ladies: i’m ….. nice to meet you, i’m…..on Twitter” You see guys, in the end all publicity is good publicity. So as the venue got fuller, the P began to be set and Panda spotted his first target as seen in the picture below,
Others followed his lead and sought out their Twitter crushes… “Hi, i’m @je_mc2 and i laughed at loud at your tweet on Sunday the 3rd of july 2011 at around 3pm…” The braver ones went straight to the point “When you tweeted @FreshPrinzVick can so gerrit, were you joking? See I favorited the tweet for such a time as this”
While some were attempting to set P, others were having naked convos in the one toilet located at the venue. I’m talking about the lingerie models. (Yes. We had lingerie models, strippers charged more) The ladies had to change secretly and then strut their stuff for a minute. Some of us (I didnt mention my name) had to ensure that goods paid for were in perfect condition hence ‘some’ were privileged to have up, close and personal relations with the 2 models for the 3O minutes it took them to wear bra and payint in the toilet. I’m sure if some of the ladies knew how much the girls were paid to walk pass for less than a minute, they would have volunteered for half the price. Shout out to he that did a good job in providing this service. If you need such ladies at your event, hola and we shall direct you to THE MAN! Ashawo boy!!!
See me oh! I didn’t even mention the theme of the event since, and you people did not even call me to order. Mtcheeew..our generation is in trouble! So the title was lifted aka Plagiarized from the LOX single that year “Money, Power, Respect” Let me be honest, i can’t tell you much about how the discussions went because i was busy around NOT setting P or pecking chics I sha stumbled in when a question about whether chics consider money an important factor in a relationship was asked. Trust girls now…”i can date a guy who’s not bucksed up” NA LIE!!! You don’t believe? Oya, open a Twitter account and in your bio, write “I AM NOT BUCKSED UP!” Even spam bots won’t follow your broke ass. While the discourse continued, one of the panellists (female) said “ i am rich, i just bought 2 pairs of Louboutins today!” Choi!!! The thing pained the guys around me and the girls began to mutter. One said “why she no wear am naw?” Another said “Lobatan!”. Me I don’t care whether you can afford Jimmy Choos or Jimi choose , Louboutins or LewisButtons, just know how to take “em off quickly when the ‘need, arises. *”need arising” is very sexual. Yes I know*
As a way of appreciating the guests, Brief essentials gave out some bras to B cups and D cups. “if you know you are a 34B (I think), come and take this bra” Nobody came out. See boys looking at the breasts around them. “are you sure you’re not a B?”, “ I could have sworn you’re a D. You have such curvy C’s” Please i’m not the one that said these things. Eventually, some girls came out and were presented with the bras as gifts. However, before they left the stage, a game called “unhooking the bra” was played. Male volunteers were called for and their responsibility was to unhook the bra without using hands and without the ladies’ assistance. With the ladies putting on the bras over their clothes, the guys were set to go…at the word GO! @DemiladeR had in 2 secs unclasped the bra. *pause* Apparently, the chic had aided by touching the bra so it had to be redone, This time he did it in 5 secs…with his teeth. It was like he spoke to the bra hook, then with such tact he had the straps off the chics shoulders all in 5 SECONDS!! Ah! We had to ‘Tuale’ the guy abeg.
I believe Demilade had no hands in his former life OR he’s used to tits, sorry teeth. I don’t know about you, but he won my respect with that feat. (Wow! I rhymed)
Meanwhile @Olatoxic who proudly flies Virgin Airways was manning the TNC tweet center (we just had to keep him useful, seeing as he wasn’t gonna get any) we were wrong! Most of the chics seemed eager to test his abilities or ‘disabilites’ ANNOUNCEMENT: Toxic is scamming you people, this is just his own Modus Operandi . don’t fall victim. Stay away from him. As more compensation, he won ‘most creative dresser’… i guess this was so because he wore a winter jacket under severe sunny conditions. It don’t get more creative than that!
One major character around was @SheriphSkills, his Pick up line went thus “Hi, i’m skills, give me a hug jor, im wearing a condom” and it worked every friggin time! He eventually showed that his name ‘skills’ isn’t as useless as the ‘diva’ and ‘sexy’ in some handles as he took control of the camera and was responsible for some of the wonderful shots at the event. He would later on entertain us to some classic fuji beats on the drums. I swear Sheriif has his calling in fuji music. He just hasn’t realised it yet
As the event drew to a close, it was announced that a Galaxy tab was to be given away. The question to be answered? “How NAKED can you go?” I considered participating but I’m a faithful Apple fan. Yes ke! Anyway, we had two volunteers: a drop dead gorgeous chick and a guy. The crowd went wild (awon ashewo oshi), even the quiet ones like @NateOblivion became so excited. Ha! Oya now…the stripping started, dude took off his shirt and jeans and we beheld his boxers (luckily, it wasn’t slacked) Babe showed us a lovely black bra and payint combination..the crowd went wilder!! @awizii got Uber-excited, @Reine_LaGlace cheered them on, @Olatoxic left the laptop for me (while all this was going on, I was the one tweeting from @thenakedconvos I couldn’t behold such scene/sin) at this point, the guy exposed his butt while covering up his pee-pee but the babe couldn’t go further. Oh she should have taken the bra off, oh she should ha..(*Control your thirst kelvin*)*sigh*™
I know some of you reading this are saying “imagine they stripped because of tab, GALAXY tab of 100k” yes! Some of you have gone naked, legs spread for SnapTu download link, Opera mini cheats, 3 months BIS, BB bold 2 etc so all y’all do the yimu after me..
Yeah yeah, so that was it with TNC, lots of picture taking, pecks and kisses, and all that gooey stuff. You definitely don’t wanna miss the next edition complete with an After party and shii..follow @thenakedconvos for up-to-date info, subscribe to the blog http://www.thenakedconvos.com, follow me @Sirkastiq (ha! Free advert l’omo) and follow this blog as well.
Shout outs to all those who aided this post, @360nobs for some pics, my BB for the rest,.its been fun y’all..now I need sleep. Scroll down for interesting pics and Visit http://t.co/l8JbkVCY for more.