ReBirth

THE NEXT BEST THING STARTS SCREENING IN 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ,1…

This Blog is rated Not rated and contains scenes with Stupidity, Idiocy, Strong language, Strong language, have i said Strong language? Typos, Gbagauns, misuse of the words been/being, Nudity might come up once in a while but i can’t guarantee it. Sarcasm, wit (dry and wet), Attempts at humor and more Sarcasm. Reader discretion is hereby advised.

Please remember, you can now activate the Parental Guidance on your laptop or mobile phone. Just proceed to the ‘X’ button at the top right hand corner of your computer screen and click or Menu > Options> Close on your mobile phone.

SCENE ONE: *Scene opens with this dude painting walls of blog while listening to the BET Naija Cypher, Ice Prince comes on…”life is not fair/so i’m thinking of how to bleach…” This dude falls off stool, rolls on the floor and starts shredding tears*

CAMERA SHOT SHIFTS TO DOOR: People begin streaming into room, taking their seats on the polished wooden floor.

Anonymous dude: “so we got some link. Why are we here?”

CAMERA MOVES BACK TO this dude: adjusts himself, drops paint rollers, places headphones around neck, dusts self, looks at audience and says: “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here…”

*PSYCHE!!!*

Wassup people and Welcome to The Sirkastiq Center as you see/saw at the top of this page. My name is Sirkastiq and that automatically makes this my blog. No? Dullards. Here at ‘TSC’ (yes this is my subtle plan to make my blog sound like TNC for marketing reasons), we shall be catering to your problems because we believe that no one person should carry those problems alone. Hence, we shall share ours with you.

Please don’t be asking me who is ‘we’ Leave it like that. Now, seeing as this is my first attempt at blogging…*audience begins to mutter* WILL YOU BE QUIET? WHAT IS THE NOISE ABOUT? *noise dies down* As i was saying, this being my first attempt at this blogging shit, i ask that you people should not be coming here with High expectations. I don’t want problem (Ha! The irony).

*voice in audience* “ Oga were you not KevinWithAnL? “

Sigh…Mohammed Ali and Cassius Clay, are they the same person? You say? My point exactly. Well, the KevinWithAnL blog is for sale. Anyone interested can DM me for the going price. I shall not say No if the price is good. Allow me say though that, its hard to keep a good man down (pls this isn’t sexual in anyway). The things we deeply love have a way of tugging the strings of our heart and the rhythm they produce is one that calls for a corresponding, fitting dance. Expressing myself is that love for me. I love to write, always have, always will. I don’t write serious stuff but i try to subtly PASS A MESSAGE in the midst of the gibberish i normally churn out. ;D

A lot of emotions traded the “ENCORE” post and very understandably so..some comments got me all teary eyed and i felt loved (no i’m not getting soft. Imma bawse uhngh). I took my break, purged myself, put my emotions under control and consulted far and wide. Safe to say, this is what makes me, this is who i am. Ok, at this point, i think i’m beginning to sound like Track 2 of the ELI album 😀 (which is the point where peeps begin to doze off) so imma wrap this up. #NoCondom

#BOTTOMLINE: 1. This is the Sirkastiq Center 2. Abeg, i don’t have time to do summary jare. This ain’t English class. In the meantime, be a nice chap or darling and follow the blog, yeah? I promise to attempt to make it worth your while. What to expect? TIME will TELL no? (see what I did there?)
Well then, all has been said, there’s plenty to be done. Welcome to the Sirkastiq center.

*Audience smile, clap and begin to trod out*

WAIT!!! Isn’t anyone going to help me paint this blog? Somebody, Anybody?
*crickets* Presses Play..ELI Track 3.

THE END

Cast
This dude ____________ Sirkastiq
Audience_____________ All y’all
Annonymous dude_____ Some dude

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66 thoughts on “ReBirth

  1. erm.. I’m torn.. a part of me wants to jump up and down, while the other part wants to call the TNC lawyers… sigh… what am I saying, I can do both…

    You’ll be hearing from our lawyers (sounds cooler when they say it on TV 😦 )..

    Welcome back …

    Like

  2. Shaking my head, shaking my boobs, shaking my nyash, shaking my foot, taking my shekere shaking that too, it’s simple this blogger this blogger has come back 4 good!!!

    Dying and coming back 2 life that’s ur ‘other’ thg eh? Rme

    Like

  3. Shaking my head, shaking my boobs, shaking my nyash, shaking my foot, taking my shekere shaking that too, d reason? this blogger this blogger has come back 4 good!!!

    Dying and coming back 2 life that’s ur ‘other’ thg eh? Rme

    Like

  4. *walks into the doorway, n pauses to take off his sandals like a Japanese bawse would, n then suddenly picks them up n aims with immense accuracy at Kelvin’s head*
    Heediyat!!! U think this will make me forgive u. Pschew. Na God just save u, if not, if not…
    *Calms himself down by sipping from his bottle of Zobo Endorphins, then teleports*

    Like

  5. First, u dint consider all fones! Pressin ‘Menu>Options’ on my fone, still can’t find the ‘Close’…:(
    Anyways, two thangs:
    1. Make sure this ‘Anal’ thing doesn’t get out of hand! (Ify looks like a cool chic, but anal tho’? *smh*)
    2. We still have a deal, dnt we? Welcome bk bawse!

    3. Ok, I knw I said two but dis is an afterthot: ‘SAKA’ actuali sounds good on u, like, really! *(Y) 2 SlevinCalevra*

    Like

  6. Boss, dis is how quarrel used to start between good friends o! After 55 comments u inform me of dis? Y evils in dis ivel werld?
    Ver nicely written tho…as usual. Got my laughter bursting forth in spasmodic spurts (#NOTsexual)!
    Weldone bro, more cells to ur BB battery!
    *now pulling out my 3-legged stool and firmly placing 1 leg on d subscribe button b4 sittin on it!*

    Like

  7. whooop Whooop! U just made my week. And yes! I know its just starting… Yayyyyyy! Missed u much. Finally i can start reading again! Just subscribed 🙂

    Like

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